Gender dysphoria or bad obsessive thinking?

FreshGuy wrote:

Stead74 wrote:

jdd wrote:But... if its OCD why go to a gender therapist especially if they refer you back to someone who deals with OCD right away >.<

Funny you mention that. Several months later, I ended up seeing a gender therapist, who actually helped me in understanding myself more. I ended up asking for hormones at one point (back then, believing that taking female hormones would alleviate my anxiety, and she said no, and even seemed alarmed that I was thinking this way. Ultimately, after an assessment of me for gender dysphoria, she seemed to think that I did NOT have gender dysphoria and that I was simply suffering badly from OCD/anxiety.

Hey Stead, how are things going?

I also have TOCD and I get the genital dysphoria you mentioned on the last page.

Sometimes I feel a discomfort at the base of my penis and I feel like it is a sign of transsexualism, rather than OCD.

Also in the last couple of days I have felt like my feet are too big to be a transsexual, as most women have small feet, and that has scared me as that is the sort of thing a transsexual thinks about, rather than an OCD sufferer.

I am just so stuck.

I dunno what to do anymore.

Hello, FreshGuy,

The two things that really helped me were getting on a good medication (I had to try a couple before one worked for me), and seeing a good gender therapist. A good gender therapist should be easily able to differentiate between a true case of gender dysphoria and OCD. Since doing both of those things, I have a much clearer perspective of who I am and I've gotta say, life definitely turned around for me, even if things weren't perfect.

I remember one day in November of last year, I was feeling very trapped with anxiety and depression due to gender dysphoric-esque feelings. That's when I emailed my gender therapist asking for a prescription of estrogen, as I believed this would rid me of anxiety (I was only interested in taking estrogen for the supposed mental effects, and wasn't really interested in what the physical effects would bring) My gender therapist responded to me, saying she didn't think it was a good idea, adding that hormones really only are used for inducing physical changes, rather than treating depression and anxiety.

Fortunately for me, the medication kicked in and my mind began staying in one place. The genital dysphoria I described basically completely disappeared. I hardly even feel it anymore. I occasionally will get a bout of obsessing over it, but that's really it.

Are there any other stressors in your life besides the OCD? I've found that my obsessing and anxiety flares up in times of very great stress. During my bad bout of anxiety last year, I was in a very toxic roommate situation that didn't allow me much time to relax and unwind on my own, and once I got out there, I felt like I had more breathing room.

Snaga wrote:I frequently imagine myself as a girl, or some state of trans. For me it's no big deal. I LIKE it.

From the standpoint of someone who considers themselves gender balanced, and if he could get away with it, this little bunny would be more fluid than he is? It's no big deal to daydream about being a girl. I mean... except for periods and pushing babies out ...... in my mind, who wouldn't want to be a chick? Chicks are so cool! Chicks are pretty and get to fix themselves up and can act as boyish or girly as they want and get to wear all the cool clothes.....

The point I'm trying to make is I'm not trans. I think like THAT ^^ ... And I'm still not trans. I would adore being female, but I'm not. I've never resented having a penis, I don't want to have babies, I don't feel horribly trapped in my body. I WISH I were a girl, but that's not the same thing as true dysphoria. From what I've read of that you feel like a small animal in a trap that's so desperate it's fixin' to gnaw its own leg off to escape.

So I'd have a hard time being sold on the notion you're trans, Stead. I mean I'm proof you can be pretty freaky and not be trans. Or at least... not trans enough to bother.

I've been known to blame the internet on H/TOCD. But if you stop and think about it, sex and gender, being a semi-fluid continuum, are perfect breeding ground for something like OCD. OCD is never happy with 'close enough'.

Darn, we are similar. I read this, see what we have in common and I am relieved and petrified at the same time. I always imagine myself in a female image, hear a female voice inside my head etc, BUT, it came out almost our of the blue. One day I had a sexual fantasy of having a female body and that is started to gradually come down upon me, like a man inside me is dying and a woman is growing. But, god damn it, I wasn't always like that. 20 years of my life I was convinced that I am a man, although not very masculine and nerdy, I was a bit deviant in the sense that I liked to be around girls more (compensating for the lack of love or being trans who the hell knows) and always imagined how girls feel during sex (since basically they look like having a good time, males not so much), but that was it.

Now, I do enjoy those fantasies and daydream on some intrusive thought, but I am horrified of consequences.
I definitely do have OCD (homosexuality and pedophilia), so it complicates things. But damn, I love girls so much I want to be one of them and it's very bloody concerning.

Stead74 wrote:

FreshGuy wrote:
Hey Stead, how are things going?

I also have TOCD and I get the genital dysphoria you mentioned on the last page.

Sometimes I feel a discomfort at the base of my penis and I feel like it is a sign of transsexualism, rather than OCD.

Also in the last couple of days I have felt like my feet are too big to be a transsexual, as most women have small feet, and that has scared me as that is the sort of thing a transsexual thinks about, rather than an OCD sufferer.

I am just so stuck.

I dunno what to do anymore.

Hello, FreshGuy,

The two things that really helped me were getting on a good medication (I had to try a couple before one worked for me), and seeing a good gender therapist. A good gender therapist should be easily able to differentiate between a true case of gender dysphoria and OCD. Since doing both of those things, I have a much clearer perspective of who I am and I've gotta say, life definitely turned around for me, even if things weren't perfect.

I remember one day in November of last year, I was feeling very trapped with anxiety and depression due to gender dysphoric-esque feelings. That's when I emailed my gender therapist asking for a prescription of estrogen, as I believed this would rid me of anxiety (I was only interested in taking estrogen for the supposed mental effects, and wasn't really interested in what the physical effects would bring) My gender therapist responded to me, saying she didn't think it was a good idea, adding that hormones really only are used for inducing physical changes, rather than treating depression and anxiety.

Fortunately for me, the medication kicked in and my mind began staying in one place. The genital dysphoria I described basically completely disappeared. I hardly even feel it anymore. I occasionally will get a bout of obsessing over it, but that's really it.

Are there any other stressors in your life besides the OCD? I've found that my obsessing and anxiety flares up in times of very great stress. During my bad bout of anxiety last year, I was in a very toxic roommate situation that didn't allow me much time to relax and unwind on my own, and once I got out there, I felt like I had more breathing room.

Ahh ok , I see. So what pilsl did oyu end up taking? Was it estrogen or an antidepressant?