TOCD or just transgender? (long, but please read)

Thanks for replying, Otter! The thing that confuses me about the "other" kind of checking (i.e., the one I was asking about) is that I've known that anxiety is the one that causes feelings out of place with who you are, so then if there's no anxiety and you still have x feeling, then I would think that it's a "legit" feeling and that it confirms the fear.

Also, how would you go about stopping that kind of checking behaviour? For example, I was on my break today and scrolling through my timeline, when a pic of a woman posing in her bra for some new bra thingy that came out or whatever. And.. I don't know what exactly happen, but I think I must have felt or thought that I wanted to be like that too, even though I wasn't feeling particularly anxious at the time. And after that I started worrying about what if I've been pretending all my life, and started thinking about times when I deliberately didn't do things that were considered "girly" (which btw is this a sign of being transgender? I don't understand how this could be a sign that you want to be another gender, if you avoid doing things associated with that gender, but I think I read in a few trans stories online about such incidents. ), specifically, I remembered how I would try not to sit with my legs crossed because I somehow had got the idea that only girls do that. And then I just remained stuck with that idea...

Do you (or anyone) have any thoughts on this incident?

That's a myth/stereotype as far as I know.

Learned behavior.

What is?

Crossing your legs. It's not a sign of anything.

Oh, yes, I know that now. I now think that gender's a social construct and you could do anything you want. Sure there are more gender-specific behaviours, but those are made so just because of culture.

But what worries me is the act of not crossing my legs because I thought it was something only girls do. Or not doing certain things because I thought they were things that only girls do.

Does that mean i was suppressing my real gender? I'm kind of calm at the moment about it, but I'm scared that someone will confirm that it really was that.

I don't know? I have very little knowledge and experience with trans stuff. And, I have the same questions regarding my sexuality if I suppressed it/ignored it.

Hopefully someone will illuminate us both on this. :-s

Though, from what I've been reading in your posts, it sounds to me like you are just over analysing things and not suppressing stuff.