Help me please

Hi, I'm a guy 17 who lives in Turkey and i really need help...
I read alot about psychiatry for a while even when i was 13 I knew there was something odd about me I felt anxious in crowded areas couldnt make eye contact with people felt suicidal alot and I just knew that I had OCD .

When I was 13 i repeadetly checked everything 3 times made sure that all the doors and windows was locked and always thought something bad would happen if i didnt complete my rituals at 7 th grade I didnt want to go to school because i felt very bad in a place full of people that doesnt like me.didnt get out of bed for about 2 weeks my mum sent me to a doctor to get some help they immediately tried to drug me i refused and never went back.

Anyway after a long summer still having obssesive thoughts I kinda buckled up started feeling good like anything was possible i didnt care about homework didnt care about my looks but i made some friends it was all good and for the first time I felt nothing bad will happen my obsessive thoughts still continued and got worst I never could control them but life was good for a while.

I repeadetly stopped games for 3 times refreshed pc screens knocked three times on a table and I'm also a deist so I believe in a god but no religioun I always pray alot because if I dont I think something bad will happen to me or my loved ones. My OCD didnt stop there , I started having sexual thoughts that just didnt fit me and I never could get them out of my head Im not gonna give any more details but they are out of control.

Now I'm 17 I use alcholic beverages way to much smoke a lot and worry alot now that my uni exam is coming up my obssesive thoughts are becoming worst I just cant handle it anymore for the last 5 weeks I tried suiciding for 3 times but didnt have the guts for it. I keep thinking theres something wrong with me I always see a illness on the net and read its symptoms i think yeah I have that disease but i dont my OCD makes me think what if I do have it and the doctors missed out ?

I'm freaking out I just cant take it anymore I use antidepressants and anxiety pilla that the doctor gave me but nothing works please help me Im losing my dearest friends , thats really hard for me cuz all the people i thought that were my friends all betrayed me they wont even talk to me . Recently I had a huge fight with a friend of mine now she doesnt even talk to me Im really desperate please please help me Im feeling suicidal again...

Every thing in this post every latter,it's like i wrote this.
The 3 time thing that if you wont do something bad will happen i had this for a long time,i also has hocd and some other bad obsession i read about mental illnes and i think it's me and start obssesing about it.
I'm also very shy with posible social anxiety and depression,i take anyi anxiety meds that doesn't really work.
I symphatize with you man we're both in deep $#%^.
But don't ever think about killing yourself and ending this.beleive me it wont solve a thing

Hey there, I understand a lot of what you're going thru.

Looks as if there's a lot of anxiety going on there, going to have to try and calm down. I know that's not easy, especially when you worry about having some disease. But you're going to wear yourself out if you don't.

It sounds as if there might be other forms of anxiety besides OCD. If what your doctor is giving you isn't working, think maybe need to have a serious talk with them, or maybe seek out another doctor. Have you had any therapy? Talking to a therapist might help.

Be careful using alcohol alongside medications, okay? Also make sure with your doctor that smoking and drinking aren't affecting the effectiveness of your medicine.

Let us know how you're doing, k?

Thank you so much for sharing Its good to know that Im not alone I will keep updating this .
I go to a psychiatrist and she said cut down on smoking but its impossible to quit with this disorder. Anyway thank you for your replies...