Obsessive thinking, trouble letting go

Hi everyone!

Recently I posted about intrusive thoughts, which for the record gave me a pretty hard time today, but I have my good days and bad days with that. Some days they don't bother me at all, which is encouraging and sometimes they don't appear in my mind for quite a while. However, I've also been struggling with obsessive thinking, I obsess constantly over my mental health. I obsess over intrusive thoughts, I obsess over my anxiety, I obsess over obsessing even. Sometimes it gets really intense, when it gets too intense I usually manage to 'let go', and I have this moment of clarity where I just feel normal-ish, which is nice, but then I obsess over any mental illnesses that involve mood swings. In a nutshell, I've always been a worrier, I'm wondering if maybe it's just as simple as that? Even as a young kid I was always a hypochondriac, even more so then than now to be honest. I guess I just want to know that I'm alright, that all this is is that I worry too much, but I'm terrified of seeing a therapist. You see, I'm leaving the country in a month to work abroad, I'm worried that if I see a therapist now and I find out I'm mentally ill I'll have to cancel my plans, my future depends on this. At the same time, I'm terrified that I may find out that I'm mentally ill while abroad, which would be worse. Just putting it out there in words makes me feel so defeated and sad already, thinking about the possibility of such a thing happening makes me feel so sick and scared, even though in my gut I feel like it's unlikely. All the worrying is making me sick to my stomach, but it's been a particularly bad week, I had several fallings out in my immediate family and I was overwhelmed by anger, I was so angry that I felt sick to my core, but it's better now. Honestly I just want to have the comfort of knowing I'm alright, that I got this, that all I have to do is think health and that I'll be healthy; the fact that I have at least some control is a plus right? Also, as I said the stress of putting my life together and having a strenuous relationship with my family isn't helping anything, I'd like to think that I'm having a normal reaction to a stressful situation, but I've always been one to worry. I've had enough, I just want peace in my mind, and I think I can get it, it's just hard to achieve right now and I'd just like someone, anyone to relate to about it. I feel slightly better now that I put this into words, which I guess is good, any positivity is good. I appreciate any feedback.

*BTW I know that no one on here is qualified to tell me whether or not to go to a therapist, I'm not asking anyone to, I'm just saying how I feel about it is all.