***How Are You Feeling Today???*** (may trigger)

Crap crap crap. The POCD thoughts are back. All this stuff circulating in the media in addition to discussing Sally Mann and Mapplethorpe in one of my classes is really starting to screw with me

Hugs, Artninja..... you know it's just your mind messing with you.

last couple of days I've actually been quite good, though my attraction for boys hasn't come back quite yet. I trust in myself and whenever I have an OCD thought I know I won't actually do it, because if I had been a lesbian I would've already kissed a few girls or whatever. Today I woke up and i had a thought or feeling which said "oh I want to be lesbian". Normally a thought like that would've given me a lot of anxiety but today it was nothing because I know I won't and don't want to get sexually involved with a girl. And what's funny is that I actually didn't get ANY ANXIETY. That's freaking me out a bit. However, it's the same thing whenever I see a girl who's pretty/cute that gives me anxiety and that never happened before this entire episode. I could actually appreciate and admire women. What is this? It feels really weird. Please help! Also when is my attraction for guys going to come back? :'(
I have always liked guys and I've always wanted to be with a guy but right now my future seems like such a blur. I'm having all sorts of thoughts and they aren't giving me anxiety which is freaking me out. Can someone please help me? Anyone? This is really confusing. I can hang out with my female friends without being anxious and those weird intrusive thoughts have also stopped that omg what if I kiss her and all that. But this anxiety is still there. and now I'm having all sorts of weird thoughts. Please help me. Can someone please reply? I'm scared to my wits and just anxious.

Question

How do you know if its your meds making things worse?

I switched meds a few months ago from Zoloft to Luvox. It seems like the thoughts and feelings have been getting worse since I did that. Even now the HOCD thoughts are getting stronger and I'm starting to doubt if I'm really straight. I've been through this doubt many times before but it always feels different somehow in some small way and I can't place it. but the thing is I don't spiral into panic attacks, I can feel one coming on, but then it just stops and I'm just left in this hell of intrusive thoughts with no reaction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCZRFr9G6zg a good representation about how I'm feeling when this happens

Honestly I felt better on the Zoloft than I do the Luvox. Is there any way I can switch back?

Artninja1995 wrote:Question

How do you know if its your meds making things worse?

I switched meds a few months ago from Zoloft to Luvox. It seems like the thoughts and feelings have been getting worse since I did that. Even now the HOCD thoughts are getting stronger and I'm starting to doubt if I'm really straight. I've been through this doubt many times before but it always feels different somehow in some small way and I can't place it. but the thing is I don't spiral into panic attacks, I can feel one coming on, but then it just stops and I'm just left in this hell of intrusive thoughts with no reaction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCZRFr9G6zg a good representation about how I'm feeling when this happens

Honestly I felt better on the Zoloft than I do the Luvox. Is there any way I can switch back?

I'd talk to your doctor about it since it's been a few months. One prescription I was given completely got rid of my OCD...then I got an allergic reaction and had to stop taking it. I'm on something new, but at a weak dosage. I thinking I'm jonesing from the one as my intrusive thoughts are magnified a ton. I'm hoping the meds will make them calm down/stop in the long run, but to get to the full dosage it takes 8 weeks total. *Groan

okay. I have an appointment today and I was planning on doing that anyways

There's just no end for me. It's too much, too real like and I don't want it. I want to be with a particular girl but that's just a wish that I can't make happen plus because she's not near me and other circumstances and this whole thing as well.

Trying to sleep, but I can't get my brain to stfu. I actually am really tired too, but the intrusive thoughts won't stop.

I really feel like I can't do this anymore. Like I'm clinging on to hope for something that it's OCD but maybe it isn't even OCD. I don't want to be gay, would rather be locked up in some white room, dead or a vegetable. It pains me that nobody gives two hoots to think that we shouldn't have a say in the matter. I'm tired of hearing just be who you are bs.

Dude same

So, I had a dream last night where I was looking through my childhood bedroom and I found a couple of magazine photos of naked women under my bed. I had a feeling that they were familiar but I know for a fact that I never hid anything of that sort under there. And I had a sudden urge to masturbate. And then I woke up feeling awful. Now I'm almost afraid to go to sleep because of this.

And now I'm confused on what is just a groinal response and what is legit attraction. It's just all around not good right now. I think it's just that time of the year when it spikes dramatically in sick, twisted new ways and I'm just here like "why tho"

I switched back to Zoloft recently. Luvox was making things worse to the point I started becoming suicidal again