HELP! Please!

Hi everyone! I'm going to skip right to the problem but to put it point blank: I have an obsession with feeling good at the "right" moments, mostly moments having to do with my relationship with my girlfriend (yes I am a lesbian.)

Let me explain now, by feeling "good" I mean sensations in my body, like good feelings or feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness and love. I am obsessed with feeling these emotions/feelings when with my girlfriend when she says something romantic or does something physically romantic that I like (ex: kissing me or holding my hand.) I worry constantly that if I do not get good feelings, so if I feel nothing or get bad/uncomfortable feelings then this means I really don't love my girlfriend and will have to break up with her and must not be gay.

For example if my girlfriend holds my hand and I do not feel any good feelings in me I get a lot of intrusive thoughts and begin to panic and worry that now without the good feelings I cannot enjoy this moments and maybe I will never be able to thus meaning maybe I have to breakup with her when that's my worst nightmare or that maybe I can't feel good because I am not gay enough.

Please help!

Well, it certainly seem like some anxiety is going on, maybe escalating int OCD. Have you ever bee diagnosed? Have you even had other fears and compulsions, that had the same kind of intensity?

Even people without anxiety are going to have good and bad days that affect their body and emotions, which means, holding someone's hands and kissing someone might not mean the same thing every time or have the impact.

Those people shrug it off and move on.

People with anxiety, and especially OCD, go in the other direction. They don't shrug it off. They endlessly try to figure things out, because their brain is hot wired and fear is commanding them. This is where you find yourself (it sounds like).

You should also know that having this burden is going to mess with your body. So trying to interpret what is going on can be confusing.

So it's important that you first separate what is happening to you from this relationship you are having.. If this relationship is otherwise good, then you need to be concerned with this anxiety.

Otter.

You have to treat these intrusive thoughts as OCD. You can't feel good everytime your partner is romantic, I know I don't. It is normal to feel like you feel, just don't pay attention to OCD telling you your feeling are not normal. You need to ignore these intrusive thoughts. Good luck xxx