Calming paranoid thoughts

I'm starting to realize with the help of others I am a pretty obsessive person. I think however that I do a great job at detaching myself from all my obsessive thoughts, and even though I've had them for years I've learned to accept them and they don't cause me distress that I am not used to.

I have recently added some new paranoid thoughts. I believe I do have paranoid thoughts, but not many bother me or that create a genuine reaction in me. I've always felt people were doing this to me, and that to me, and that the government can listen to us through our TV's (which I recently found out is not as common as I thought), that when I walk into a bathroom someone's going to be there dead, having hanged themselves, you know whatever

There are a few that I don't like and they create genuine upset in me (even if it's occasional)

1) For a few months, when driving in my car, particularly at night, I think there's someone in my backseat. Almost every time I drive at night I have to resist the urge of taking my eyes off the road to check. And I get a little panicky sometimes because I feel someone is going to try to slit my throat or something.
I end up racing home a lot of the time. I did not used to have this problem, I used to love night cruises. I would prefer not to get into the habit of checking my backseat even though I can see it when I put my bag in the back, because it's ridiculous. If other people are in the car, I seem to be fine.

2) Worms in my food. Not all food. But I've noticed foods that I have to bite in (like a piece of valentines chocolate) or that are...complicated I'd say (like a bowl of pasta), I will think there's worms in it. I will still continue to eat it, and I won't check all that much, but it's the thought every time I initially bite into something "holy crap, there's going to be a worm in this"

3) Thinking I've forgotten something. I forget things a lot, so maybe this is the root of this. But I find if I need an object for something, I'll make sure I put it in. Then I'll check again. Then as I'm walking to my car I'll check again. And maybe when I'm sitting some where before the object is needed I'll check again. It is stupid.

4) Feeling someone is hovering over me when my eyes are closed. I'll see a picture of them in my head, rising out of my head and standing over me. I do not like it, but thankfully this doesn't happen too often. Maybe once every week. I also hear voices occasionally (I don't remember what they tell me - nothing mean but then again that's possibly because I wouldn't get offended) and hear noises I don't want to hear. Sometimes if I think about the voices, I can feel them coming closer to me but they don't actually talk. (that sounds loony)

Is my brain giving me new material to play with since its old material wasn't working? I'm obsessed with the idea that this is going to just get worse and that I'm going psychotic.

i'm like this too. it's so weird. my body is really sick and tired and i had a lot of trauma. i was almost kidnapped a few times as a child. i have a feeling youre like me.

babybowrain wrote:i'm like this too. it's so weird. my body is really sick and tired and i had a lot of trauma. i was almost kidnapped a few times as a child. i have a feeling youre like me.

That would explain quite a bit for you.. thankfully I've never been kidnapped. Maybe someone's planning to kidnap me, and this is my brains way of making me be prepared.

yes, it's quite possible. before i was kidnapped i knew something was happening, and i kept on looking around and i finally saw the kidnapper approaching me.