HOCD

Okay well hear me out. this is embarrassing to say but if your a male maybe you can help me out. So recently my OCD has been acting up. I noticed during my onset of OCD i would try effortlessly to try and be attracted to girls but I couldn't. Never in my life have I looked at a guy and said wow hes hot or felt that attracted feeling you feel. I played Highschool football I think I would of known I never checked out my friends. Anyways My boss at work was ranting one day and talked about prostate stimulation. Not going to go into details for obvious reasons but the other day I tried it. While doing it a thought popped into my head "this is how I found out I'm gay" and soon after I finished I told myself I can't do this ever again and felt guilty. I've had girlfriends before and definitely fell for a girl last year and was pleased with the sex we had, I was obsessed with this girl but it didn't work out. Do you think because I have lived anxious my whole life without knowing my experience with girls wasn't what it should of been? Please help I get homo-intrusive thoughts (no offense to others) and sometimes they arouse me, am i gay? Do i just start being gay??? How can I tell if i'm gay im literally walking around University looking at men and asking myself if i find them attractive or not. Why can't I like girls right now and have those thoughts of girls arouse me?!

Hey, I'm not a male but I can help as I've suffered from Hocd on and off for the past 2-3 years. You can't turn gay if you are straight and vice versa. HOCD does not make you gay it just puts thoughts into your mind that scare and confuse you. You are straight and what you think is 'arousal' is called the 'groinal response' the more you pay attention to it and the more you checking if you're attracted to males you do it makes a strange tingling in your groin not like sexual arousal. You can't be gay if you've been attracted to girls all your life. It's impossible. I hope this helped you

Alright guys Im 20 years old and and was just diagnosed with OCD and really need help at this point and I am not sure what to do. At one point with my anxiety I was stuck in my room, crying and confused with constant intrusive thoughts about killing myself. Some how I was relieved of the anxiety feelings that those gave me after I tried hard for 3 weeks to accept them. I guess what I have noticed the most now with me is that life has felt sort of foggy or at-least I tell myself it is. I feel like at times i'm really just not myself almost as if my reality has become distorted. My psychologist told me I have OCD but sometimes it comes across my mind that I have some schizo-affective disorder. I'm not hearing any voices/seeing anything but life just seems so strange lately. My sleep has become awful too. Awful. The other night I woke up from a nightmare with a scream in my head and thought I saw something on my floor(I geuss it happens from sleep paralysis). Do you think my sleep depreviation could be distorting my reality/how I think and if so how can i sleep again? Constantly I question If i really even care to get better from this whole thing. I hear of people all the time with OCD who would give anything for it to go away, but I geuss I'm just strange and sometimes feel like I like having ocd?? I mean all day i'm stuck questioning these strange thoughts and i feel like i'm just so out of it. Literally sometimes I tell myself I'm a psycho because of all the things I have been thinking. Anyways to rap this up I was put on Antidepressants. I will admit that helped with my thoughts about becoming schziophrenic. there was a time I couldn't even hang out with my friends because that's all I thought of. But i feel like they have made my behavior reckless, I have no fear driving. I've driven drunk which I never would do in my life when I was off them. I just feel like they might be making me act strange. Does anyone have any advice for me because sometimes I think about killing myself. Time is passing me by and I don't know what to do. I think I want to stop taking the SSRI's.

questions and comments.

Anxiety can cause depersonalization and derealization. Not necessarily severe, but it still has some effect and is worth looking up. It seems like you have done some research, so look that up too. But talk to your doctor about it. In our culture anxiety has been made to seem like it is just someone who has too much stress. It is much more than that and it affects all aspects of our physical and mental state. Many symptoms that seem like other illnesses, are just being mimicked by anxiety.

How long have you been on meds? Did you start having suicidal thoughts after your were no meds, or where they there before?

It usually takes four more more weeks for meds to do their work.

Otter.

ive been on the for about a month and a half and thinking of getting off them. honestly just don't feel like myself and its like i'm in a dream world every day

Hey i've been on antidepressants for about 2 months now. one thing that has been on my mind about ocd is my sexuality. I wont get into detail about it but i have a homosexual sort of obsession. at some points of the day i start questioning my sexuality. I can't seem to come to a definite answer and just accept that I am or i'm not theres never a 100 percent. Anyways I have only ever had sex with females and romantic fantasys with females. I never look at guys and check them out or said to myself I would like a relationship with him. Honwever, Recently i've been getting these thoughts were another man is having sex with me... I didn't get these before my meds I never thought of sex at all since being diagnosed 6 months ago. Growing up from age 5 I remember loving girls. I remember fighting with a friend over a girl I liked lol. Anyways I ask myself 2 things daily. One, how would my experience with a girl be if we had sex. Then two, how would my experience be if i had sex with a man. When I think of the two I can't get arroused by females but I always feel like I can for men. So then I tell myself alright I geuss i'm gay but I have this tenedancy to resist it? I'm honestly so confused. and what I mean by no anxiety is that I have obsessive thoughts. But when I think about Homosexual Obsessive thoughts my heart doesn't race, i don't get that panicy feeling. Does this just confirm im gay? I honestly don't think I could continue life being gay. It just wouldn't be the dylan everyone knows. Honestly I haven't been attracted to girls since I was obsessed with one last year. Anyone ever go through a time were they thought they were gay, took up therapy and then realized you weren't? how can I tell.

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