The worst plague I've had: Cheating OCD

Currently at the tattoo convention! I'm getting tatted right now and he's taking a break. My anxiety has been at ease, but I still have obsessive thoughts. I think it's happening because I'm just sitting here and my mind isn't occupied. I can tell it's because the reason why these thoughts are so strong and real is because I'm obsessing, which causes problems that were never there.

Ocdfanatic22, remember, this is not your fault and this is your ocd trying to make you look like the bad guy. Don't let those thoughts get to you.

Lockheed, I'm happy you're doing so well. Remember, looking is fine but acting on it is wrong! Don't let your ocd get to you guys.

I'll be back tonight, my artist is back. Time to finish my tattoo!

fireworkeyes wrote:Currently at the tattoo convention! I'm getting tatted right now and he's taking a break. My anxiety has been at ease, but I still have obsessive thoughts. I think it's happening because I'm just sitting here and my mind isn't occupied. I can tell it's because the reason why these thoughts are so strong and real is because I'm obsessing, which causes problems that were never there.

Ocdfanatic22, remember, this is not your fault and this is your ocd trying to make you look like the bad guy. Don't let those thoughts get to you.

Lockheed, I'm happy you're doing so well. Remember, looking is fine but acting on it is wrong! Don't let your ocd get to you guys.

I'll be back tonight, my artist is back. Time to finish my tattoo!

Yep. Sounds familiar; your mind tries to trick you into obsessive thoughts 'because you're not obsessing enough'.

Anyway, time to sleep - almost 2 AM. Enjoy your time at the convention!

fireworkeyes wrote:Currently at the tattoo convention! I'm getting tatted right now and he's taking a break. My anxiety has been at ease, but I still have obsessive thoughts. I think it's happening because I'm just sitting here and my mind isn't occupied. I can tell it's because the reason why these thoughts are so strong and real is because I'm obsessing, which causes problems that were never there.

Ocdfanatic22, remember, this is not your fault and this is your ocd trying to make you look like the bad guy. Don't let those thoughts get to you.

Lockheed, I'm happy you're doing so well. Remember, looking is fine but acting on it is wrong! Don't let your ocd get to you guys.

I'll be back tonight, my artist is back. Time to finish my tattoo!

I'm glad you had fun at the tattoo convention and Lockheed I'm glad your OCD has taken a turn for the better! You guys are both doing great and I am very proud of both. I'm actually doing alright today, had a pretty good day, smoked a cigar, and my girlfriends asleep right next to me. How has today been?

Hey guys, yesterday we went to the convention again and it was fun. My bf bought some pictures to hang in his room and entered his tattoos in the contest but he didn't place sadly...butttt I got a walking dead tattoo!

I noticed when my mind wasn't busy, I would start to worry or think. And now I'm just getting sick of it, because I know if I wasn't thinking about this I would be having so much more fun. I miss just being able to just be myself and love him without constant doubts. It almost went away last night, but it's like my mind keeps wanting me to just think about it and it's annoying.

Today I'm watching a movie with him at his house and it should be fun. When I think of him, I get happy and I get excited for the day but then my anxiety kicks in and it's annoying. I just want it to go away. It ruins the fun and enjoyment of being around him.

Anyways, I'm glad everyone else seems to be doing so well. I feel like I always take 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Tomorrow is my doctor appointment and I'm so nervous. I'll report back after my appointment!

That sounds good, friends!

I had a good day as well. My uncles and aunts and other family came over today to do a late New Year's celebration (which we do annually) and I had lots of fun. This morning, in the shower, my mind tried to trick me into this list-making thing that I described, thus actually into obsessing. For some reason, I could clearly recognize this practice and could get it out of my head quite quickly, by accepting the presence and shifting my attention to other (study related theory) thoughts.

So still very happy

Lockheed

fireworkeyes wrote:Hey guys, yesterday we went to the convention again and it was fun. My bf bought some pictures to hang in his room and entered his tattoos in the contest but he didn't place sadly...butttt I got a walking dead tattoo!

I noticed when my mind wasn't busy, I would start to worry or think. And now I'm just getting sick of it, because I know if I wasn't thinking about this I would be having so much more fun. I miss just being able to just be myself and love him without constant doubts. It almost went away last night, but it's like my mind keeps wanting me to just think about it and it's annoying.

Today I'm watching a movie with him at his house and it should be fun. When I think of him, I get happy and I get excited for the day but then my anxiety kicks in and it's annoying. I just want it to go away. It ruins the fun and enjoyment of being around him.

Anyways, I'm glad everyone else seems to be doing so well. I feel like I always take 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Tomorrow is my doctor appointment and I'm so nervous. I'll report back after my appointment!

Glad to hear you're both doing very well for the most part. Fireworkeyes definitely report back after your doctors appointment and how was your time watching a movie with your boyfriend? Were you able to focus on the moment and have a good time?

Lockheed, congratulations on doing good as well. It seems you have pretty much beaten your obsession, just keep on recognizing the thoughts like you are and all should be very well.

As for myself I haven't been doing that bad honesty, I'm starting to relabel the thoughts but a few still seem to quirk me... Basically my thoughts are becoming weird "false memories" that didn't even happen and me trying to focus to see if it happened or not. I'm just trying to ignore it and keep on going I assume, also I had my first experience with sleep paralysis today and it scared me to death lol.

Hey guys! So my first time went pretty well. She was really nice, her office was home-y and she also brings her cats sometimes to her office?? Idk, but I told her everything going on with me and she said it sounds like I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder! So...that made me happy.

But...the obsessions are still here.

Glad to know I'm getting help so I can have my life back to normal.

How is everyone doing?

Good to hear that you're doing so well, Lockheed.

OCDfanatic22, seems that you are going through false memory (I did some research once, it screws with ocd pretty well). Try relabeling, that works for me...but only sometimes.

How is everyone doing? c:

Yep... triggers/spikes still try to get their grip onto me sometimes. This afternoon, I had one when I saw my girlfriend. However, I now know that whatever I feel for her is very strong, and that I'd be the stupiest person on Earth to quit the relationship. So in short I stopped whatever was trying to get me into obsessive thinking quite soon after the spike emerged. Still happy about that

For the rest, it's been quite a good day. Been studying, learning a lot, but a bit fed up with the non-stop studying (been busy since Sunday the 4th) - final exam is next Friday, so after then I could read a bit into books at a more normal pace. But guess that studying hard helped me stopping the obsessive thoughts, as I had no time to rethink everything.

It's good that you two are doing well okay. It's great to hear that your appointment went well, fireworkeyes! In fact, what you describe there slightly relates to reassurance seeking (from your therapist), but ok

Keep up the good work!

Lockheed

fireworkeyes wrote:Hey guys! So my first time went pretty well. She was really nice, her office was home-y and she also brings her cats sometimes to her office?? Idk, but I told her everything going on with me and she said it sounds like I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder! So...that made me happy.

But...the obsessions are still here.

Glad to know I'm getting help so I can have my life back to normal.

How is everyone doing?

Good to hear that you're doing so well, Lockheed.

OCDfanatic22, seems that you are going through false memory (I did some research once, it screws with ocd pretty well). Try relabeling, that works for me...but only sometimes.

How is everyone doing? c:

Fireworkeyes, I'm very happy to hear that your first visit with your therapist went well! I was certain that she would agree with Lockheed and myself that you have OCD or more precisely ROCD. Unfortunately ROCD isn't an "official term" in the psychology books so you'll rarely if ever hear a trained person refer to it as so; I really hope they add it as a sub-category in the medical books as it is real. Now is this person you are seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist/counselor? If she is a psychiatrist she will be able to write you a prescription to help control your OCD/anxiety if you two choose that option; if she is a psychologist/counselor she will have to go through another psychiatrists if she wishes to prescribed you medication as she won't possess the power too. Either way if you both agree on it she should and will be able to find a way to prescribe you the medications that she see's fit. Obsessions will continue to be there for a while but remember you're in control.

Lockheed, glad to hear that you are doing from what you describe extremely well! It would appear to me that you have for the most part beaten your obsession and as long as you as you stay on this path will be just fine. I'm glad you had a great time with your girlfriend tonight, just remember to try to live in the moment and not focus on the future or past.

As for myself today has not been terrible actually pretty alright. To fireworkeyes I've become aware of "false memories" and honestly I'm shocked to say the least; the question is what can our mental illness do but rather what can it NOT do? Lockheed you're right it is all part of the process, you have to hit rock bottom before you can recover. It's crazy when you think about all the different ways it can mess with your mind. Work wasn't bad but it was definitely fast! At FedEx we had a pretty good load that came at an unfogiveable pace! I'm almost scared to be able to sit around and think however, I'm constantly scared I'm going to have a "memory" that will cause me to try and place it in the right time or be a false memory all together. I guess I have to understand that the only way it will go away is I can't fear it...

Im replying on my phone, but she can perscribe the medication to me, I just have to get it through my doctor office.

To go into detail, my appointment went very well. I talked about my bf, my parents, and my obsessions and my main obsession. I went into detail about things, and she still felt I was ocd, but didn't understand where it all came from (I blame my ex bf for making me constantly worry). She was very nice, her office is homey and she said she will bring her cat in so I can hold it? Idk, she's very empathetic towards what I've been going through and understands how TIRING it is to go through this. Don't you ever just feel so tired after having a mental battle in your head? I almost passed out twice yesterday at my bfs house because I had so many panic attacks in my head and almost word vomit!

The worst part is, my bf and I have been butting heads a little. His anxiety goes up when we're in a huge crowd and the tattoo convention was obviously full of people, so he was saying some not nice things and it was triggering this anxiety worse. The obsessive Ness was still there but and I realized, if I didn't have these thoughts, I would be having fun. So...that makes me feel like it is my ocd and it isn't me!

Ocdfanatic22, I noticed something that has helped me when I'm obsessing. You were obsessing that you were cheating on your gf. The reason why we are so focused is because we never wanted to hurt the ones we love. We are so fixated on the fact that we thought we cheated, that that's what makes us feel like a cheater! I noticed that with me, the reason why I haven't felt so in love or missing my bf is because my mind is so wrapped around this thought that I'm starting to believe it. And usually, ocd is the opposite of our characters. So that's something that helped me for a bit. In other news, how's your relationship? How's your girlfriend handling things and most importantly, your ocd?

I feel like Lockheed is the only one doing so well. xD so glad to know you're feeling better and on top of the world, you deserve it!

-- Tue Jan 13, 2015 12:30 am --

Also, you say you are almost scared to think, I get the same way. So remember, when you obsess about something new, you weren't thinking about it then, or thought twice, you did nothing wrong and it's your ocd because it wants you to worry.

I have had that happen to me countless of times where my mind is clear and I have to worry about something. It's the worst, it never gives ya a break and if ya do get a break it's brief. ;_;