Am I just in denial?

My case is TOCD. The subject says it all. I really, really feel like I'm deep in denial although... I still like being a girl, I would never change who I am, but this thought keeps bugging me, pestering me, and telling me I'm just in denial and I feel like I am. It feels so real sometimes; like I'll break up with my bf and go out to my parents, this feels like HOCD as well, so I really hope it's OCD. I just don't feel pretty anymore, I don't feel like a girl anymore, and that scares me the most. I look at the mirror and I want to cry b/c I don't know if it's me being in denial or that I want to be a man. But the thing is how can I want to be man when I dealt with HOCD for 2 pure hell months scared that I might turn into a lesbian. If I was transgender, I would become a man.... so I can date a girl? No, way. I don't want that. I want to date guys not be one. I always wanted to get married to a man, dressed in a beautiful dress, and feel like a princess and I feel like that won't ever happen now. I feel so weird in my body now, like it doesn't feel like it's mine anymore. Is that the anxiety that I'm feeling? Someone just say something, I don't even care what it is, just tell me I'm not losing my mind.

Only way you can get rid of this is to go to a CBT therapist. Even if you're trans which you aren't, you have to get through this OCD anyway first. Stop seeking this reassurance and go to a therapist or you'll be like me and almost commit suicide luckily I had a mood swing so I never went through with it.

I have also worried about being in denial. I have had this for 2 years

I think I am just a transsexual and I hate it, I wish it could be different