Am I a pedophile? Desperate for some help and perspective.

sually I wouldn't use the word pedophile at all. It's a label, and labeling people doesn't respect the living soul which is a person.

I'd use instead an expression like' sexual thoughts and feelings about girls'. Put like that it's not such a big deal; lots of people have sexual thoughts about little girls, some have more, some have less. I doubt there are may guys who have had none.