i have ocd for a long time.

i am new on this site.

my english is poor , its not my native language.

i have ocd.

i freaking out because ocd dont want stop lie in my head.

i have three ocd themes in same time. i have hocd ( fear of become gay/bi) , rocd, and huge huge fear of loosing my loved ones.

i am totally heterosexual person, i know that. women are not attractive for me. (hocd trying convinced me that they are. but i know they are not), i love my boyfriend so much that i will give everything for him, he is sweet, handsome, i have huge attraction toward him. and ONLY TOWARD HIM. ( rocd trying convince me that i am cheater, but i know i am not.)
my fear of loosing my loved ones ( my loved ones are my bofriend, my mom, my dad and my sister), is so huge, and i have a huge wish that i die before my boyfriend, my mom, my dad and my sister.

i am tired of ocd lies.

vbv.

We all are. You have my compassion. Look for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, in your case.
Also the book Brain Lock by Jeffrey M Schwartz. Not sure how easy to read it will be for you since you do not know English well. Raw sunflower seeds make an enormous difference for me. I'd strongly recommend you get some and eat them. Check to make sure they do not interfere with any medications you are taking, and don't eat 'extreme' amounts of them.