Intrusive Thoughts Getting Me Sick

• Sleep-deprivation
• Intrusive Thoughts
• Intrusive Wishes (Negative, Sexual, Inappropriate, Unintentional)
• Anxiety
• Over-thinking
• Fear of Intrusive Thoughts Affecting Relationship
• Not As Passionate About the Things I Love

Issues:
Anxiety, Mood Change Disorder, Depression.

Sleep-deprivation:
I haven't been sleeping as well due to my depression and anxieties as aforementioned. It's terrible and it's really screwing my mental state up though recently I've begun taking melatonin fast-dissolve tablets. While it did help relax my mind, it didn't particularly help me sleep until about half and hour later; it was 5 AM when I got to sleep.

Intrusive Thoughts:
I have been having intrusive thoughts that I really would not rather type out (makes me feel uncomfortable) and I've been trying my best to block them out but they seem to be returning in full strength.

Intrusive Wishes: Intrusive Wishes are just about my worst nightmare right now. It has left me feeling ill and unable to stomach down the contents of my food. They are mighty disturbing and are sometimes of sexual/inappropriate nature and it's really sickening and unintentional and my mind keeps saying "It's going to come true somehow." I really don't want those wishes to and I don't want to say them either. Stars, eyelashes (i.e. eyelash wish), and anything related to wishing is now triggering to me thus reminds me and out of impulse my mind begins to spew up bull crap wishes that are really unintentional. Sometimes they have something to do with my relationship kind of like "I wish I would fall out of love with [NAME]" and that is NOT what I want happening! My mind is really whack and I get worse when my mind adds a "forever".

Anxiety: I am going through somewhat an inner panic which is causing me facial break-outs and loss of appetite. I took my anxiety pills twice, the second time I took one I felt depressed and couldn't get a good nights rest.

Over-thinking: Over-thinking related to intrusive thoughts.

Fear of Intrusive Thoughts Affecting Relationship: As well as all of the above, really. This is all piling up and it's giving me a hard time and I'm worried it's going to affect my relationship! I'm usually so used to daydreaming and fantasizing cheesy things but now it's all blown away when I started feeling this way. (Probably all due to sleeping so dang late.)

Not As Passionate About the Things I Love: I feel low-spirited and space out a lot often. I feel weak and my head has started to feel like a little pile of lead. I can't feel the emotions I used to feel. It's almost as if I've gone numb from sensory overload except the feeling of anxiety is still there at the pit of my stomach.

Additional Notes: Yes, I have been prescribed medication for my depression, anxiety, and mood change disorder.

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Now that I've somewhat explained the issues...

Sleep-deprivation: Is there another way to fix up my sleeping schedule?

Intrusive Thoughts: How do I get rid of thoughts like these? Is there a technique I should know?

Intrusive Wishes (Negative, Sexual, Inappropriate, Unintentional): This is the most important thing I need answered. Is there any way these wishes won't come true? How can I overcome this and make my mind think "These wishes can't come true, because..."? All I need is reassurance that I'll get better and that these wishes won't come true. It's all really horrifying for me.

Anxiety: Is there any way to calm myself down aside from taking medications?

Over-thinking: Any way to cease my mind from over-thinking so much 24/7?

Fear of Intrusive Thoughts Affecting Relationship: Do you think a good night's rest can help me feel back on track on my romancing?

Not As Passionate About the Things I Love: Do you think I'll feel passionate about the things I love again?

I really feel ever so cruddy about myself and my way of thinking is slowly deteriorating.

OCD does affect your life once it gets to the point where it becomes powerful enough. To answer your question… no, You're intrusive thoughts of the "wishes" coming true will NOT COME TRUE. I REPEAT THEY WILL NOT COME TRUE. As similar sufferers, we have all had our fair share of the fear of hurting people and the fear of unintentionally illogically harming. The only way to conquer this is to expose yourself to these thoughts and gradually fight them down one by one, telling urself that these wishes will not come true. OCD will also try to morph around the truth to get back into your head, but don't let it. Remember that reality does not revolve around the way your mind works… and use that as a weapon to fight your OCD. Its a work in progress, but once you tell yourself everything I've told you and understand, things will get better and back to normal i promise.

timmyliao wrote:OCD does affect your life once it gets to the point where it becomes powerful enough. To answer your question… no, You're intrusive thoughts of the "wishes" coming true will NOT COME TRUE. I REPEAT THEY WILL NOT COME TRUE. As similar sufferers, we have all had our fair share of the fear of hurting people and the fear of unintentionally illogically harming. The only way to conquer this is to expose yourself to these thoughts and gradually fight them down one by one, telling urself that these wishes will not come true. OCD will also try to morph around the truth to get back into your head, but don't let it. Remember that reality does not revolve around the way your mind works… and use that as a weapon to fight your OCD. Its a work in progress, but once you tell yourself everything I've told you and understand, things will get better and back to normal i promise.

It's going to be hard to tell myself wishes can't come true due to being told once that a wish won't come true unless I say it but these kinds of wishes are ones I wouldn't like to say.

The scariest part I feel like it's messing up my mind? For example, I had another Intrusive wish that said "I wish to fall in love with my brother [or name]" and that is some @!@@@! up shiz because I really don't want that to happen and it fills me with much more disgust. I can't even talk to my brother without feeling uncomfortable. It brings that disgusting Intrusive wish up and other related Intrusive wishes to that.

It's all so very terrible and I want this inner turmoil of thoughts to cease and desist. By the way, I'm not particularly diagnosed with OCD but it is just mind boggling but I've got a feeling it has to do with my insomnia because usually I don't get hung up on this issue so much.

Is there another way I can tell myself wishes can't come true even though I don't say it? Worst case scenario Intrusive wish being "I wish wishes came true" would probably put me in a frenzy of a freak-out!

Trust me i know where you're coming from and I'm dealing with something similar right now. How about this… wish for something terrible to happen to me and I'll give you an update next week. I promise you nothing will happen. A lot of the rituals That my OCD plagues me with do not come true. The reason they persist is because OCD dwells on fear of the unknown. Also, you're thoughts do not determine what kind of person you are… OCD is a demon that wants to make you feel nothing but fear… contort your perception until it makes you feel nothing but turmoil. You told me you don't want to love your brother that way, so there's your answer. You have to let yourself know that without your OCD, this fear wouldn't exist, your thoughts that make you feel like a disgusting person don't mean anything because even you get disgusted by your thoughts. You KNOW THEY DO NOT REPRESENT YOU. EXPOSE YOURSELF TO THEM AND BEAT THEM DOWN. DON'T LET YOUR DEMON WIN.

timmyliao wrote:Trust me i know where you're coming from and I'm dealing with something similar right now. How about this… wish for something terrible to happen to me and I'll give you an update next week. I promise you nothing will happen. A lot of the rituals That my OCD plagues me with do not come true. The reason they persist is because OCD dwells on fear of the unknown. Also, you're thoughts do not determine what kind of person you are… OCD is a demon that wants to make you feel nothing but fear… contort your perception until it makes you feel nothing but turmoil. You told me you don't want to love your brother that way, so there's your answer. You have to let yourself know that without your OCD, this fear wouldn't exist, your thoughts that make you feel like a disgusting person don't mean anything because even you get disgusted by your thoughts. You KNOW THEY DO NOT REPRESENT YOU. EXPOSE YOURSELF TO THEM AND BEAT THEM DOWN. DON'T LET YOUR DEMON WIN.

I thank you a bunch for replying back! Speaking of updates, I had a bit of a panic attack out in public with my mother. Went to the doctors and he asked me what the problem was and I just... I couldn't tell him and he says "How am I supposed to help you if you don't tell me what the problem is?" I did tell him about the Intrusive thoughts and wishes.
Now I'm... I'm kind of nervous. I'm going to a counselor and I really have no idea how to tell the lady so as not to disturb her or something, but then again there is always church. (I'm Catholic.)
But... Man, I really hate what I'm going through. I was so fine weeks ago and now I'm a huge mess. I'm afraid to talk/chat with my girlfriend because my mind is like "Ah-ah-ah! You wished you fell in love with your brother!" and I feel like emptying out the contents of my food. It's not just the falling in love thing. It's... oh gosh, I don't even want to type it. *Shudders.*
Another thing is "I wish to fall out of love with/from [name]" and that's what made me feel even worse, honestly.
I hate wishes. Hate them with all my heart. My mind tells me they will come true and it holds me back from ignoring/enjoying my life!
I feel like a messed up person... Sigh...

you really can't REASON with your intrusive thoughts because they aren't based off of logic. Truth is… you already know that they don't represent you, but the thought of being an indecent person bothers you. Also, test it out on me. I dare you. nothing will happen. OCD tends to revolve around rituals that warp our realities. My reality was warped and I'm piecing it together. So can you. Do the ritual on me and nothing will happen.

timmyliao wrote:you really can't REASON with your intrusive thoughts because they aren't based off of logic. Truth is… you already know that they don't represent you, but the thought of being an indecent person bothers you. Also, test it out on me. I dare you. nothing will happen. OCD tends to revolve around rituals that warp our realities. My reality was warped and I'm piecing it together. So can you. Do the ritual on me and nothing will happen.

That is something I've learned today and other days before.

Okay, I suppose I'll test it out on you! Uhhhh... Friday. Just sayin'. Let me know.

Warping our realities is another thing I've noticed. I'm trying my hardest not to let it get to me. With all of my strength. I hope it dies down a bit when I go off to the Gym tomorrow.

I wish you the best of luck on piecing your reality together! As long as you eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, and go out often to chillax things will be great. That is what I'm currently doing, yessir. (Also talk/hang-out with great buddies. It'd be a major help!)

Ritual, it is!

I'm still a bit nervous about my counseling session, I don't wanna go. It really is an embarrassing topic I have in mind. I'm known to be a bit of a worrywart.

I'm even going to church so that I can get more in touch with my religion. Faith is a thing I need right now as well as comfort.

Well here's you're update… I'm fine. nothing bad happened to me. Nothing out of the ordinary happened to me. I'm living my life as though you never made a wish on me.

timmyliao wrote:Well here's you're update… I'm fine. nothing bad happened to me. Nothing out of the ordinary happened to me. I'm living my life as though you never made a wish on me.

While I am rather glad you're fine, I still have to see a counselor either way. *Sigh.*

I still wish you the best of luck on the thing you're dealing with.

I thank you very much for responding to my thread and giving me a bit of courage to fight off the unwanted demons within my cranium in the mean time whilst getting help for myself.

God bless you.

My appointment is set up to Oct. 6. I don't know if I can wait that long.

I still feel incredibly awkward around loved ones because of those disgusting Intrusive wishes. What...what can I do?

I am really afraid that it's starting to mess with my head. Oh gosh, I feel like crying right now.