Intrusive thoughts: is this even OCD anymore?

Ok guys, here goes, this is the first time I've ever opened up on the internet. I suffer from OCD, all sorts, however the worst part is obsessional thoughts, particularly intrusive thoughts. The worst part about it is - I think I'm closer than ever to acting on them. I believe this has manifested itself as a way of coping, and this is my thought-train a lot of the time. Thinks of horrible thing --> thinks wow that's terrible --> thinks do I actually want to do this --> maybe I do want to do it --> thinks of reasons for doing it --> obsesses over the ethics of doing it vs. not doing it, have to spend ages convincing myself that it's not the right thing to do.

The thing is, during the phase of obsessing over it, I can convince myself that it is the right thing to do. During this time there are phases where I have all but convinced myself that it is the right thing to do. I eventually talk myself out of it/snap out of it. Then the next phase of obsessing begins: would I have actually done it --> wow I'm a terrible person for even thinking about doing it etc.

It's not the fact that I have these thoughts that worries me. I know intrusive thoughts are normal. It's this reaction of "is it the right thing to do" that scares the absolute $#%^ out of me.

Thanks for reading.

Yes it's just an extension of intrusive thoughts. You are subconsciously testing yourself, your mind is playing with the boundaries. Either way, thoughts are not a crime. You can think about the morality of the most heinous thought in the world if you want, no one is going to come after you with a pitchfork for thinking things.

Thanks for the response, I appreciate it.