DO I HAVE HOCD? IT'S STRESSING ME OUT

Hi

So for a while now I have been having the thought "Am I gay?" stuck in my head and it is really stressing me out. Ever since I was little I have had crushes on boys and been in relationships with boys and liked boys! But for the last year i'm having this fear that i'm actually gay and i've been denying it all along.

I have never had a crush on a girl, ever! I've found girls pretty, but never had the desire to kiss them or whatever. But now all I seem to do is ask myself "Do I like her?" and examine every single thing I feel or say to girls, and if I feel like I did something a lesbian would do or if I smiled for too long or something, I freak out and think I'm a lesbian and go into a freakout.

These thoughts started happening a year ago, and they went on for a month or so, but then all of a sudden about 6 months later, they came back. It freaked me out because these thoughts are consuming my life and I just want them to go away. And the worst thing is that I also tell myself I want these thoughts and I start having a mental battle with myself, and I know which side is right. But my brain tells me different. I don't want these thoughts!

I don't want my attraction to boys to go away and it's freaking me out that I may talk myself into liking girls which I do not want to happen! I've told my mum about this and she seems to thinks it's my hormones going crazy and it will get better, but I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel and I really don't know what to do with my life anymore. I just want to know who I am.

Please help me,

Eva

Hello Eva. There is always a light. The solution is simple although difficult to achieve, and it's really just about pushing aside those thoughts of worry and pain despite the fake dangers presented by the OCD. OCD will trick you with fearful scenarios, guilt, 'emergencies', and more to keep you worrying, but you need to decide that no matter what it says, you are not going to listen to the OCD. Don't permit guilt trips or self-hatred as a result of pushing the OCD aside. Here, this will help you: obsessive-compulsive/topic144944.html

The solution requires that your faith in it exceeds your belief in any imagined danger.