HOCD Feeling Sick and Hopeless

Apologies for posting again but this HOCD thing has just elevated to a different level of anxiety. I managed to go most of the day without searching HOCD on these forums or the internet but I feel absolutely awful and sick now. I was out of the house for most of the day and had this godawful feeling in my chest every single time I saw a guy no matter what he looked like or how old he was. I just needed to hear a guys name and I would get that feeling.

Before this I never found any men attractive or had this feeling around them. Since this HOCD I've lost most of my attraction to women (although I still say some girls are hot when I see them though end up feeling that this is just a lie). I try to keep reassuring myself that I've always girls (which I have) and that you can't suddenly turn gay can you?

I'm posting again because as I said my anxiety ramped up really badly today. I don't even want to sleep cause when I close my eyes gay images fill my mind and it makes me feel awful. I couldn't help it but I started checking on these forums and in particular the "gay vs. denial" thread and thought maybe I am attracted to guys and just in denial and had a massive anxiety attack and started feeling sick and suicidal and started crying. I just don't understand what the hell is happening.

Every time I have a thought of a guy or anything remotely gay I can feel my stomach turn. Does anyone know if this is typical of HOCD cause I'm in a really bad place at the moment and honestly don't know whether or not I'm just in denial.

I apologise again for posting twice but this thing has just gotten so bad over the past day. It all feels so real but when I have thoughts of being gay I just shake my head and feel almost a jolt of anxiety in my legs. These thoughts just feel so real.

It's very, very typical of HOCD. All of it. Really. You need to decide you aren't going to entertain those horrible, frightening thoughts despite what they imply. No matter what horrible stuff you fear if you are gay, decide you aren't going to entertain the possibility anymore. That's the best way to stop this stuff, but it takes willpower and commitment.

Here, read this: obsessive-compulsive/topic144944.html