Giving up.. Pocd

I am not a big supporter of stopping natural things we enjoy because OCD has contaminated them. Sex and masturbation can be a healthy and necessary part of life.

Also, stopping one thing, or somehow blocking OCD from one thing usually has it popping up in other places, which is why we see so many members bounce around from HOCD to POCD, to other problems.

I am a supporter of some sort of therapy and/or meds. Some sort of outside support. Many people don't want to do this, for some reason.

This leave self support. This is not an easy route. I wish I had the formula to tell you what to do and how to think that would make things better. But if I could do that, I we wouldn't need this forum.

I do take meds, but meds is not enough. So I have adopted my own "brand" of self therapy. This is a combination of practical actions and abstract methods of persona insight. Here are a few things I do, or don't do.

- I don't check anymore. no matter what my thoughts tell me that I am, I will not try and verify that in the world around me.

- I accept the understanding that my anxiety causes my OCD, not the other way around. so I look for anxiety first. I know this because I become hyper sexual, sleep less, eat less, and other signs. So when I start to express OCD in my life, I look for the anxiety. And it's ALWAYS there. By understanding this my OCD has less power.

- I then work on my anxiety. I look for things in my life that might be causing me stress, and do other to reduce anxiety.

- the biggest thing that helps, is I have conditioned myself to respond to my OCD by not responding. I let the thought come, I let the anxiety in the moment feel intense, but I will not acknowledge their relevancy by feeding them with counter thoughts (if that makes sense).

- I will also no longer perform rituals, no matter how doomed I feel if I don't do them. After YEARS of performing rituals and wasting loads of time, I once told my thoughts, "you can damn me to hell, but I will not do your bidding anymore". most of the time it is easy, but occasionally it hurts, when my anxiety is running high.

- I also am aware that my OCD will pass because it doesn't have the power it used to because of the above.


I know a lot of people come here to vent or just to get responses from people who feel like them, so they don't feel alone. I think that is great, and after decades of feeling alone, I am happy to have found a place where people are like me.

but as a veteran of OCD, I don't have a magic pill to offer if someone asks me what might help them. i share my experiences and hope maybe it sparks action in another.

it doesn't matter if you have HOCD, POCD or harm OCD, or any of the millions of other things we can fear - you have a disorder of anxiety. It may be episodic, or you may have it all of your life. but you have to accept it's a disorder and make a commitment to approach it in the same you would any other ailment. That' the first step.

Otter.

Okey. You have absolutely right. I will stop checking and getting afraid of the thoughts.

It's hard to get a psychologist here and meds too so i don't know.. I think its the anxiety that started all of this because i have had anxiety almost all my life. As i said, i got my first panicattack when i was 9-10 years old. Not fun at all.

Thank you for taking your time to respond, i appreciate it very much.

Since 9 or 10? That is rough - and too young for someone to start suffering like that. Sorry.. I was hit at 18. It was like getting slammed into the ground. But when I look back on it, I realize it had been with me a long time. Good luck to you.

Dear Linumbimb,

I have exactly the same as you have with cumming in a flash after an intrusive thought/image pops up, allthough not POCD-orientated. Since OCD is about doubt, I can tell you the more I doubt, the bigger the problem and when I'm really convinced about myself the problem diminishes. In general you could say that focussing on not thinking something is extremely contraproductive. Cumming already is possible in a flash, when I think I'm gonna think something (total panic in a sec). Since the thoughts and images do not have to do anything with sex, I think I have to accept that under extreme stress, anxiety , fear, or whatever you call it, this happens.

Maybe following articles can help you although they are not talking of the time period an orgasm occurs.

*mod edit*

Dont worry, this is just a fight or flight reaction. Sudden rush of anxiety during sexual activity can cause climax....happened to me when my sexual ocd was at its worse. No idea why there is not more information about this online, you really have to look hard to find out about it.


Makes sense if you think about it from an evolutionary angle, if you were trying to reproduce and danger arrived, sudden ejaculation and orgasm would be an ideal solution. Unfortunately these days it doesnt serve much other than freaking out OCDers further than they already are. Also same process can happens when people get caught having sex or masturbating.

Im pretty sure it happens quite often to people with OCD, just not many people post about it because they dot understand it and fear it shows that they enjoy the subject of their intrusive thoughts. It doesnt at all. The trick with OCD is to re learn how to trust yourself....trust yourself that you are not a paedophile and when you get a thought, tell yourself that was an ocd thought, trust yourself dont analyse it. Easier said then done, but dont give up you ll get there!

I live with it as well. I have almost next to no anxiety as of now though. Because i discovered that i actually am not a pedophile. Because of exposure. I recommend to everyone that you do some intense exercise, such as swimming or running, as to get endorphins, and less anxiety, as endorphins lessens anxiety and depression. you will be in a competent, normal, happy state. Now, get near a child, somehow, your own, your students, even in public, just get close, look at their face. then you will know, you dont want that. you never wanted that. But you have to be an a less anxious state. I only recommend that, its not mandatory, as its good if you were to do it even in an anxious state, to realize. BUT ive found that when youre in a less anxious state i.e. after you've worked out, since your anxiety is down, so will your pocd thoughts, and you'll find the intrusive thoughts are less, and you may even realize that "hey, i dont even want that at all. theres nothing about that i find sexual." of course with this condition there are times when that will change. BUt these exposure experiences where you are exposed to the TRUTH, will serve as lasting aids when you are in distress in the future. YOu can just remember, wait, I know I really am not. This is the illness. Your brain trying to trick you into thinking you are actually a pedophile even when you're not. thats why you're masturbating to it, because you oh so want it to be true, but your true self will never let it, thats why you're in pain. Its been studied and understood, that actual pedophiles aren't in distress when thinking about children sexually. thats the ultimate difference we all have to remember when we have these thoughts, is that people with POCD are in distress and don't want the thoughts, but actual pedophiles do. My suggesion? Once you know the truth that you have been exposed to, you know you no longer should be wanting to look at children. So when the compulsion comes up to want to look at a childs thighs or calves or butt or whatever, just go "wait, i really dont want to look at that, theres no reason for me to be looking at that" it will be tough to resist the compulsion, but do it anyway, it will get less and less in the long run and make you feel less anxious. trust me. i know from experience. i really believe that the nature of POCD lies in magnification. WE SEE an aspect of the child, a butt or calves, and we compare it to the actual physical attributes we find sexual in adults, but we don't see the rest of the child, we just hyper zoom in on the one trait. perhaps its the whole body thats seeming attractive. well children's figures in essence are smaller versions of adults. there are so many similarities between children's bodies and adult's bodies, especially those of fit adults, adults who haven't lost their trim and are in shape. its ok to admit theyre similar, ESPECIALLY when viewed from afar. which is what most POCD sufferers look at children, because they;re so afraid to be around them up close. BUT i promise you exposure therapy works. I challenge you to walk around the playground, NO ONE Is going to think you're a pedophile, no one is going to call the cops on you. ANd you will realize, you've always enjoyed looking at children, but not in a sexual way, but because they are the lights of the world, and everyone loves admiring and observing children because they are simple and loving and peaceful. I implore everyone to engage in deep meditiation observing these thoughts, to really take up a yogic practice, exercise, eat right, sleep right, dont look at blue light before bed, get blue light blocking glasses so you con protect melatonin resulting in supporting the other neurotransmitters as well. do everything you can to empower your body, so you can handle this awful affliction. its such a bizarre and interesting condition when you think about it. but you need to face it and think about it. its really all silly, how much of a fuss weve gotten ourselves into. feel free to dm me please.