Am I a Paedophile or is this POCD?!

Hello,

I'm a 17 year old male. I sometimes suffer from moderate OCD now and then where I have periods where I worry a lot about my health (physical and mental).

Recently I was watching a paedophile hunt documentary where they showed a blurred video of a man sexually abusing his 6 year old daughter. I didn't know how to feel when I saw it, but I wasn't completely horrified nor was I greatly aroused either, I was just emotionless yet I got butterflies in my stomach and hot flushes, it was the first time I've ever saw anything CP related.

I felt as if my brain knew this was sensitive material and was immediately observing my every move. I re-watched the clip several times to check for any arousal, but the results were inconclusive (sometimes I felt faintly aroused more about the disturbed nature of the situation rather than the child in it). This worried me a lot because I imagine the usual reaction would be to be horrified etc.

Since then I have been constantly worrying that I may be a paedophile... I've never thought about kids sexually, my younger cousin always used to want to hold my hand and kiss me (this repulsed me) so I took this as I sign I was 'alright'. But now I'm questioning myself, I find myself looking at kids to see if they arouse me and I'm almost certain they don't but its like I can never find the exact answer, there's always that what if? banging around in my head.

Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated, I really don't want to feel like this anymore.

Many Thanks.

You have suffered from OCD. You have "what-ifs" ruining your day, and people who are pedophiles don't have to "wonder" or "check" to see if they are Pedo.

I'm thinking OCD, but you should get confirmation from a doc.

Have you ever been treated?

What if you are not a pedophile and are completely wasting your time worrying about this?

If your irrational notion about being a pedophile can be valid in your eyes then the above statement ought to be just as valid.

Also, for example, have you ever seen surveillance video of a bank robbery? Did you shout in horror when you watched it? If you're like most people, probably not. And that does not make everybody a bank robber. It is really as simple as that.

No your not a pedophile, but stop watching the video it's making you obsess.

Fair warning, this kind of OCD can play tricks on you physically. If you're afraid of being gay, some people report getting into a temporary state where they become aroused by gayness, and if you're afraid of being a pedophile, it will make you feel slightly aroused around children. This always goes away completely after the OCD goes away.

-- Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:57 am --

Fair warning, this kind of OCD can play tricks on you physically. If you're afraid of being gay, some people report getting into a temporary state where they become aroused by gayness, and if you're afraid of being a pedophile, it will make you feel slightly aroused around children. This always goes away completely after the OCD goes away.