Can someone reassure me? :(

Hey everyone, in short:

Used to be terrified of not being able to become a respected actor/comedian because my severe acne was returning after it disappeared for two years thanks to antibiotics, then I thought about disfigurement and got totally terrified this would happen to me. 

Didn't understand where the fear was coming from, started thinking it was a premonition.

After months I got convinced it wasn't because the thought about disfigurement would've never popped up in my head if it wasn't for the acne.

Then a new theory suddenly popped up in my head: what if it was a premonition, but thinking about disfigurement triggered it? It was gonna happen anyway, and I never would've known if I didn't thinking about it, but thinking about it triggered the premonition.

I know OCD does this, it searches for new possibilities and theories to stay scared, but the thing that is worrysome is that at first(and still) this new theory was really really hard to put into words. It was more a feeling than a thought. Everytime I think about the theory and try to get it clear in my head and to find the right words to describe it, I get this really frustrated feeling, like my mind wants to run away from it. I get stuck.

I'm really scared that this means it IS a premonition  if it's more of a feeling rather than a thought doesn't that mean it could be a prominition? Why do I get stuck and get frustrated when I think about it?

Take care all

My OCD tries to make me think that every hunch or feeling is a premonition of doom. It never is. My face has so much acne that it looks like someone juiced a pizza onto the surface of the moon, but strangely it never affected self-esteem. I know a lot of people whom it does and did. Hmm.

I deal with lottery OCD, where I think I might win the lottery at any moment even though I didn't buy a ticket!

In all seriousness, you might as well be dealing with "lottery OCD" because the chances of that happening are about the same as your disfigurement fear coming to pass - and both propositions have no evidence to support them.

I think any attempt to reassure you would only make your OCD worse because any attempt to reassure you would imply that you can KNOW the future when that simply not the case - just like I can't know if I will win the lottery.

I agree. Trying to disprove it is the worst thing you can do. It never works. It never does. It usually only makes things much, much worse.