Harm OCD Dog

Hello everyone, so i would say the last 2 years have been complete and utter mental stress, and i honestly think its has drove me a little mad! I think im suffering from some type of delusions, I am obsessing over a harm theme, I absolutley love my dogs to bits and some times i worry to the extreme about her, but latley i keep getting sucked into these delusional thoughts like " oh if you have feelings your weak" "its okay to kill people" "kill your dog" and i get sucked in so far i cant see the wood for the trees, i mean its seriously delusional! i get caught up in stream of thinking and its like whatever logical side of my mind is left is shrinking, I feel this sort of evil wanting to harm feeling, but i know in my right mind i would never feel like this, i am the most caring person ever, its like my mind is working in extremity's. But this morning really took the biscuit, i think when your brain is under so much stress your less likely to put up with certain feelings and thoughts, so i start extreme thinking saying "im going to do it, im going to kill the dog, i dont care about the dog" I mean i know to everyones normal mind thats ######6 crazy, i wouldnt even want to know me!! But it honestly felt like i could hurt the dog without feeling any remorse, then again i know when my logical mind came around i would literaly feel suicidal, i mean this morning walking to work, the shred of logical emotional thinking i had, i used it to pray to arch angel michael asking him to lift me from this situatuion, but then theres this battle in my head where this evil part of me is saying "No i dont want help i just want to be evil".. I really just wanted my life to end this morning, and even when it comes to buying myself something nice in town i have a voice in my head saying, you sick b***h you dont deserve to treat yourself to anything, your the scum of the earth! and the worst thing is i just feel so numb its absolutley horrible, call me crazy but i honestly wish i had sever anxiety rather than this, i know this is all very mad and odd but any help would greatly be appreciated guys thanks so much x Kaylah!

HI Biddy,

That's some rough stuff to be suffering, I am sorry this is happening to you. A question: these thoughts, are just thoughts, correct. You don't hear them like yo would someone's normal voice, correct?

If you were delusional you would believe what you are thinking. It would engulf you. But it seems like one half of your brain knows what is logical and another half is attacking you. OCD can be like that.

It seems like this is out of control. At any rate you are suffering too much at this point to handle it yourself, that is my opinion. You really need to get some support.

Although we can't diagnose, this may be severe anxiety. OCD can cause the worst thought that you never wanted to think.

Let us know how it goes.

Otter.

Hi Otter and thanks for replying! Nope i dont hear any voices atall, And your spot on, There is definatley a logical side but the OCD side has just takin over so much, i feel just completley depressed,blank and drained, i dont feel the anxiety like a normal person would! I wish i did. but that has just seemed to fade away, Im currently taking 20MG of Prozac everyday for the last 2 years but i had taken it for 4years before and stopped for a year and thats when i began to take it again as i suffered extreme anxiety. I am considering coming off my prozac as lately ive been feeling very hostile for no apparent reason, i feel like my emotions are "blocked" this affects me greatly, as i feel like i am supressing emotions like anger, love, etc and i feel like a wall! I dont care for anything anymore, nothing! and i know i should, it kills me that i dont but i think it may be due to the prozac. if you have any advice on that i would appreciate it, thanks very much for your reply Otter, good to know that people care