Finding Relief from this Disorder

Ok. Its been a while since I've posted here.I'm a sailor and I happen to have OCD. The pure obsession type involving intrusive thoughts etc..I had a lot of anxiety and anger growing up. I wanted to ruminate every intrusive thought I came across. Oftentimes I cannot focus on the things I like or want to do.There would be times I would be absent minded because of too much preoccupation on a certain worrying thought. Sometimes somebody would tell me why I'm staring blankly ahead. When I couldn't sleep I would become restless and this would bother my parents.They would get angry with me. I could not just explain I could not fall asleep because some religious blasphemous thing is bothering me. They might think I'm crazy. I was just 10 years old and I had no clue what was happening to me. I started writing every intrusive thought on a piece of paper. I would then find a place where I could be alone and then start solving this questions(I know they were illogical) that were worrying me. Its like a big battle is going inside my brain. I cannot really explain the approach that I do to come up with the conclusion that suppresses this intrusive thought. But I do this every time and my doubts stop temporarily.They surface again sometime.And I repeat this process of mine.All I can say is that every intrusive thought creates much anxiety on me that I really have to solve it so that I can be at peace.I couldn't set it aside.These cycles consumed valuable time. I feel depressed when I remember what I've been through. Anyway, this is what I will share for now. I had to have some courage to start opening up to people..Just to find relief..