Did i lose my OCD?

My OCD Started (i think) a long time ago, maybe this was just general anxiety - but i could never sleep facing the wall, i had (and still have to) face the door.

Recently (maybe a year ago) my real OCD started - it took a while to get dressed because if i put on the wrong pair of pants/underwear my parents would die (something like that) Sometimes i would have to get up and spin around a certain amount of times. In school if i take a drink from the water fountain, my mind would say "10 seconds, 20 seconds" "do it again" etc.. I had to drink a lot of water basically. And at night time whenever i hear a car go by outside i have to look out the window (even when a car doesn't go by sometimes)

More recently (maybe a couple days ago - week) All of this stuff stopped happening (I am still nuts about germs and contamination, and cleaning) but all of my rituals i used to perform i no longer seem to need to do. Now you are probably saying (congratulations man etc.. you have overcome your OCD - life must be so much easier)....... .. This is where the problem lays

I miss it.. I MISS my OCD!

I'm not sure how this happened, i recently got a testicular ultrasound because of a testicular cancer scare i had, and the results were fine - it wasn't anything. Could this have been why my OCD is better now? and if so will it go back to normal soon? if not maybe tell me how i can get back to my OCD (i know this sounds very strange, but i really do want my rituals back) because i still have OCD, just not that compulsive part of it - so since i still have it is it possible to "get that back"?

Thanks for all of the help.

One thing i'm doing tonight is turning off the hall light, not facing the door and trying to sleep - then coming up with things i must do and this might bring it back?

Yes - i am serious about this.

Thanks.

-Sua

Why do you miss it, Sua?

If the answer mentions anxiety ANYWHERE. Then congratulations, my bet is it hasn't gone anywhere. It's just mutated. I'm not a psych or therapist, so this isn't any form of diagnosis. Just a guess.

If not, then could you say more about what need those rituals met? Is this to do with feeling less safe in the world now that you aren't "controlling" it? Or were you getting attention or support through the OCD which will be lost if you no longer suffer with it?