Dad has very severe OCD, what can I do?

I really hope those of you who are familiar with OCD can help me with advice.

My dad has always had OCD but up until the past 4-5 years, it wasn't that severe.

However, over the past 4-5 years it has gotten worse and worse.

Right now, his hands are almost always close to bleeding from the excessive hand washing.

He is afraid to touch people (even his 6 year old daughter), uses gloves all the time and it has completely devastated his life.

We are not from the US.

He finally went to a local therapist this year but she honestly recommended to my mother that she should move out.

In her opinion (the therapist's opinion), he doesn't really want to be helped or change and she mentioned that his daughter is very negatively affected by the OCD and hence her advice was to move out and remove their daughter from that environment.

Also, the therapist refuses to see him anymore stating that he does not want to be helped and recommended psychiatric treatment and medication.

My dad refuses.

The therapist said that the problem is so bad now that there's no way to do it without medication.

So the situation right now is this.

1. The current therapist refuses to see him anymore, she recommended psychiatric treatment (also referred us to a specialist) and medication. The therapist also recommended moving out and removing the daughter from that negative environment.

2. My dad refuses to go to that specialist.

3. My mom can't take it anymore and after giving him multiple second as well as third chances, wants to move out.

So I honestly have no idea what to do.

I really don't.

Is moving out really the only solution left?

I am also very upset with my dad, I always gave him the benefit of the doubt but now when I see that he refuses to see that specialist and consider medication, I am very close to giving up as well because I just don't see any solutions.

Is there any way to help him?

I'm not a specialist and he refuses to see one, I don't have a clue what to do next.

Hopefully some of you who have experience with OCD can give me some advice as to what you think I should do next.

Thank you for reading and sorry for bothering you with my problems.

I can't help you, in terms of advice on solving the problem, but I have this to say.

My father is an alcoholic, I know it's not his fault really, but I do blame him for it. I never contact him (not that he contacts me anyway) and we have no relationship.

I'm saying this because I understand how difficult it is to maintain positive feelings for your father when he is destroying your family before your eyes, but I implore you to be stronger than me and to stay strong in trying to help him. I've only been struggling with OCD for 5-6 months now, but I can already tell you that it is nightmarish, I go through an enormous amount of emotional pain every day because of it, and it only affects me anyway. I can't even conceive of how your father feels, seeing the destruction that he is causing.

I know nothing I am saying can help you much, but I just want you to understand that your father doesn't mean for this to be happening, it is really, really difficult to even get through a day when anxiety is playing up.

hey there,

The honest truth is that you can only help your father by supporting him-not supporting his OCD, but supporting him to get better even though he does not want to. Having been diagnosed with OCD, I've learned that the support of my family and friends has led to the majority of my improvements with OCD. Yes, medication has helped, but without having people to talk to and somewhat understand what I am going through, I would feel like an outsider in this world with nobody to help me with my condition.

Like the post above said, your father can't help the fact that he has been diagnosed with OCD, but yes it is understandable that you are angry at him for not wanting to change. But think about how long these behavioral patterns have been with him...how long he has felt this need to wash his hands constantly..how long these urges have been with him. Right now in his life, this is what he knows to do. He knows these behavioral patterns and is probably used to them. So letting going of these habits, like any habits, is very hard to do. In addition, you are asking him to get over this fear that he has that has been embedded in him for so long. So try to understand where he is coming from and maybe why he is so resistant to change.

Suggestions: Maybe try to really emphasize the fact that his OCD is causing issues in your family. Do not try to explicitly blame him, but maybe point out that you guys (if you choose so) will help him get through this, and how it will better your family situation.
And about the therapist..try a new one. I can't believe that she turned your dad away.
That must have been really discouraging for you guys to think that help wasn't available. But it is; it just may require some more searching.

Keep in mind: Keep in mind that this change is not going to be instant. It is going to take time and during this time, it will be helpful for him to have a support group.

Please don't hesitate to respond back.