Incessant Thoughts of My Future Repeating My Past

Hello,

I don't know if anyone else with OCD can relate to this, or if the theme of my dilemma rings true for anyone here, but lately my life in dealing with my mental health issues has been hell, though this is certainly not the first time this has been the case.

Anyway, not unlike others I am sure, my life up to this point at 23 years old hasn't exactly been smooth and comfortable. I grew up pretty deprived in a couple disadvantaged, corrupted, communities, going without many resources that are part and parcel to ones well being. I believe that the mental health issues that i have today can be directly attributed to the negative experiences and lack of help for them I received growing up. What has been the biggest blow to my mental health though, has happened most recently, when I made the move 4 years ago to the city i live in now. It went from bad to devastating when I arrived here. At the very least where I had grown up before I moved here were a few friends who i could relate to and could confide in when i needed it. Not only have I not had that here, the people that live here are the least respectable and most homogenous people countrywide, and they have the reputation for being such. They're all very insular, closed off, welfare leeching, socialist, morons. You either conform here or be left out, and i wasn't going to sink low enough to fit in here. As I mentioned, this is a socialist city, a very unproductive city, with very very few job opportunities. The party that governs the city has done its best to make this place as depressing and social assistance depending as possible. So... my job prospects have been weak, I despise the people that live here, and the city in general is incredibly depressing and drab, and I have had way too much time on my hands because of it. All characteristics that allow mental health problems to fester and thrive.

Finally, however, I have discovered the opportunity that i have long been waiting for to get out and it looks pretty promising. Since I have discovered it however, and have geared my mind to finally getting out and receiving the big break I've been waiting a lifetime for, my obsessed mind can't help but try to bring my spirits down by convincing me that my past experiences will repeat themselves. Disappointment, misery, and depression, my OCD tries to convince me will be the inevitable. The thing is, the place i am going is the same place i have always wanted to live in anyway, I have family there, and every time i visit I have loved it. The people there are great, the opportunities are endless, the quality of life is flawless. Everything you could want in a residence. All of which though I need to happen to me so that i can be convinced that there is something worthwhile in life for me. Some form of happiness and success that i deserve too. If I got there and things, for whatever reason, went to hell, I don't know how I would cope with it. Cause that is pretty much it for me if they don't. That's probably the end of the line.

So, I guess my question is, have you dealt with similar ocd dilemmas, and how did you deal with them?