So I've been dealing with ocd for a while now. I'm 23 and male. I have my good days and my bad days like everyone. I get trapped testing and checking myself for hours of the day sometimes, other times I can sit for the majority of the day and not worry. At any rate I do what I can to keep my mind occupied and to focus on not be obsessive or worried. I get fairly weak groinal responses and I get the odd intrusive thought that I do my best to let simmer. I have an amazing girlfriend whom I love deeply and with whom I have a great relationship.
My biggest thing is though that when Im out in the world I'm very sensitive to other men. And that scares the hell out of me; I mean it all scares me but that is easily the worst. And I just feel like I need to know that at least someone is having a similar time. I know reassurance isn't the road to recovery but I really need to know, that as far as this kind of ocd is concerned, this is normal.
Anyway like I said: other men. Not all other men. Just some. Usually young, slim and with longer than average hair. Usually better looking than average and not typically manly. I'd say effeminate but that may just be something I say to reassure myself. Basically I'll start of the day positive and everything will be going my way and then out of no where I'll see a guy that fits that description somewhat and just lose myself. I'll see him one second and then become obsessed with the fact that I noticed him, constantly asking why. And then I'll go home and I'll imagine things with this man and get little to no response.
I'm really scared. I've read a lot of people talk about false attractions and talk more generally about how lots of people set them off. That doesn't happen so much with me and that bothers me. It's just certain people.
Is it normal (with ocd) to react to just certain types of people instead of all the people?
I'm sorry if this seems like a silly question