My cleaning OCD is ruining my life!!!!

Someone plz give me advice. I have always been a neat freak/clean freak, but once i got my own place for the 1st time 3ys ago, things really got bad. I am cleaning non stop, vacuuming, wiping, dusting, ordganizing things then re-organizing them soon after, kitchen floors, bathroom, etc.

My apt is absolute perfection, and its still not clean enough. Here is the worst part, i no longer want pple coming over, no one takes my OCD seriously, they think its silly, they mess things up, like the carpet, dont wipe sink after washing their face, touch my things, raid my fridge without asking 1st (im russian, thats a huge NO No in my culture), some dont take their shoes off, etc. All of these things have been brought up a million times over, and stressed again and again, and family/friends still cant seem to follow these simple rules when they come over. Its gotten to the point where i dont have guests anymore, im like a hermit crab, i make excuses and lie when pple wanna come over, and when my cousin is in town and needs a place to crash i lie about why she cant come over. i have talked to her a million times about her messy habits and how bad my OCD is and she still doesnt listen, breaks all the rules, and laughs n thinks its funny when i call her out when she makes a mess. Its getting to a point where i dont want her over at all, and shes my best friend. She has done so much for me, helped me get off drugs, helped me get a good job and even helped me find this apt i live in now. She is def starting to notice how i dont want her over when shes in town, but talking to her doesnt help she continues to disrespect me and my OCD. I cant live like this anymore, when pple come over my heart is about my pop out of my chest, im shaking, having panic attacks and i feel like i am living in my own internal hell. But i stay silent and act cool, but inside im in pure terror. What can i do? Some sort of exercise? I work 2 jobs, i dont have time to seek professional help. Any word of advice???

if i could just learn to deal with the lil annoying things pple do when they come over, my enxiety wont be so bad or drive me so crazy. But what can i do????? i dont wanna end up all alone. HELP!!!!

Hello AnissaB

I lived in an apartment next to a guy who suffered as you do. It got to a point where I just stood in the middle of his apartment for the duration of the time I was talking to him. I didn't touch a thing. I am sorry for your suffering.

But I am glad you have associated your problem with OCD. The answer may just be that.

May I be blunt? Saying you don't have time for professional help wont cut it. I suffer many different problems (Bipolar Disorder, Schizoaffective disorder, OCD, etc) and the one thing I have learned is, I am going to get treatment one way or another. If something is severe enough it will get you to the door eventually - and sometimes in the worst way.

So, my first suggestion is to see someone get some meds to cool this things down. Then start trying behavioral changes, like letting someone in and allowing them to do something which might cause you to become nervous, or worse.

The hard way of doing this is to simply give up the over cleanliness part of your life and suffer the ramifications. I have done this with OCD at the worst time. I simply gave up and whatever bad things the OCD was telling me was going to happen - happen. And of course, after a while, I got better.

Whatever the case, you posted here because you felt there was a problem. Make time to address the anxiety, not the OCD. It isn't easy, but I hope you do find time. Your life will be better for it.

Otter.

Thank you so much, and yes it is the enxiety thats driving me nuts. I guess theres just no way around it, i need to seek a specialist.