hocd and rocd

Lately my hocd has been under control after starting anti-depresents. However since startibg the anti-deoresents I am unable to orgasm. I am a woman by the way. All this is now starting to trigure more questions its driving me insane. Its such a hard part of ocd to deal with. Im also seeing a boy but I keep questionibg my self as to whether I really like him. Sick of all this now

The first thing to go with antidepressants is the libido. It's common to almost everyone. I'm on a low dose of antidepressants, and it still causes problems with my sexual urges. So don't let the lack of orgasms trigger your HOCD.

And not knowing whether or not you like a boy, is a normal part of starting a relationship, or even if you have known him for a while.

Otter.

Thanks otter.
The hocd ( if it is hocd) had gone until I started worrying that the reasons I couldnt orgasm was because I didnt like men. My mind feels fuzzy, I constantly question everything. Im now worried that the hocd only went away because I was texting a boy and my mind was off things. He has now gone back to work after being on sick and the hocd has returned. Im scared that because my mind has been off things by being involved eith boys since I was 16 (now 20) that it hasnt let my true self come through. I was so happy so surely if I was lesbian I wouldnt be happy? This then causes me to think what if im bisexual? Ive never had a crush on a girl but now I keep focusing on women to check if I like them. When the hocd was first here I used to think about doing things with a woman and it would make me feel sick or sometimes physically sick. Now when I think about it something is telling me I would like it but it makes me sweat and shake. I used to really enjoy cuddles and things from a boy but now I just cant enjoy it because there is the constant thought that im lying to my self. What if this is not ocd related? I just wish someone could tell me everything will be ok. Ive also had thoughts like what if im attracted to children and also harm thoughts about close family. I dont know what to do anymore. My mind keeps telling me that I wont be satisfied until I try something with a woman to prove I dont like it but I really dont want to. I want my self bavk so bad. Can someone help?

Hi Cat,

Read these forums and you will find that you are not alone with the other manifestation of fears/thoughts (children, harming yourself or others, etc).

Texting that boy was a good example of how to fight this OCD. Deny the thoughts and distract yourself. Move on and be in your life. Let the natural way guide you.

I have never had HOCD because at an early age I didn't care what I was. I had homoerotic fantasies at times in my teens and 20's, but I knew that this was common for men who were evolving sexually. But I let things flow. If I were Bi or Homosexual, then that is what I would be and I didn't give a damn who didn't like it. As as result I found I was heterosexual. So I'm that thing. In my mind, they are all the same. Sexuality is sub category of love in my opinion. And love is the only goal in this life my friend.

But here are some practical questions and comments.

- How long have you beed on antidepressants? It takes a while for them to kick in.

- Not all antidepressants affect people the same way. If you feel like your antidepressant is not doing its job you may have to up the dosage or change antidepressants.

- Just to reiterate, antidepressants surpress sexual urges, dont let your lack of sexual urges fool you into thinking you're not heterosexual.

- I know a good deal of homosexuals and a few bisexuals. Their realization was natural. They experienced "enlightenment" at some point. They struggled with a little adversity (parents, etc) but then moved on. They knew BEFORE the fact and they didn't FORCE themselves into anything.

- Your mind is doing the opposite. It is trying to force you into an change because of the anxiety. We can be sure of this because it is now forcing itself on you with other thoughts. There is one devil in the details and that is anxiety - IMHO.

- Have you tried talking to a therapist? Perhaps they could find other aspects of your life which may be triggering the anxiety. Don't focus on the OSD, because that is just a symptom. Maybe it would do you good to talk about other life problems.

- You are going to be ok. Know that. But it's going to take a little muscle on your part and maybe dabbling in the fine art of medication "tasting". It's an effort to block out thoughts that are attacking you, but it can be done. Sometime you just have to give up and just ignore them. It may cause some anxiety and depression, but you can attack those symptoms on their own.

O

Ive been on anti-depressents for about two months now. They were working but now they dont seem to be. I feel that stress makes the thoughts worst. Im so confused I feel really odd. If I tell my self thag I dont find a woman attractive my mind will say why not? Shes really pretty. Im really fed up I feel so unhappy. My lack of libido has certainly been a trigure. Is it normal not to be enjoying my time with men because if all these thoughts?

The thoughts are OCD, the feelings are depression. The depression is going to blanket everything. Even if you weren't suffering OCD, the depression would dampen everything, including your relationships with men (sexual or not). These different experiences can cause the confusion and anxiety because they are happening at once. I'm not saying this is exactly your problem, but from what have told us, that is what I see.

Some anti-depressants can help with OCD and anxiety. Talk to your doctor about all of your symptoms and he/she may be able to give you something to help you. Dosage is important too. If it's not working for you, you may be 10mg away from feeling better. Explore that route too. We are the chemicals in our brain and the experiences in our life (environment, relationships). Work those two fronts.

***possible trigger***

I suffered OCD worst in my 20's. I came call it the "what if" voice. Whenever I would try to feel confident about something, like saying to myself, "I refuse to wash my hands twice", the voice inside me would say, but "what if you didn't do it" and then go on to say something bad would happen. The "what if" controlled my life. 60% of my day was doing OCD-like behaviors to avoid the possible "what if" voice. At some point I said F*** Y** to the "what if" voice and told myself I would suffer the ramifications. The result - the "what if" voice went away and nothing bad happened to me. From that, emerged an new method of handling the OCD. It still comes around, but it doesn't stay long.

****

Otter.

The reason I went on antidepressents in the first place was because my boyfriend of three years was in the navy and I kept questioning the rightness of the relationship and I was scared I would be unfaithful even though I knew I wouldnt but I just couldnt get these thoughts out of my head. Then the hocd came. I feel im a very jelous person and will never be satisfied with my looks or my body, I always think someone looks better. It also frighrens me that when I look at men I dont think about the sexually I think about them in a loving way, but I cant help noticing womens breasts and its frightening me! Before all this I never used to notice them or pay any attention. Im sick of the whole checking and reassuring thing. Wish I could just enjoy my self without this horrible nervous feeling. Im on 20mg fluoxetine but think I need the dose upped