I keep having obsessive thoughts. Help?

So, to start off, I have OCD, was diagnosed about a year ago and told that my OCD is pretty much the base of my panic disorder simply because I scare myself terribly with my obsessive thinking and frightening thoughts.

Right now, I've been fearing a new mental illness or psychotic symptoms. I'm so afraid of losing my mind, and although I can usually just tell myself "I'm okay. If I'm questioning my sanity, I'm obviously still sane.", the thoughts still cross my mind. I've gotten into the habit of checking everything. Every day I have to instantly recall to myself what is reality and what is fake. I tell myself that the world I see is real and that my family is real and that the cartoon I am watching is fantasy. I already know such things, though my mind needs reassurance to prove to myself that I'm really still sane. I've tried mindfulness, and I take 5-10mg buspar when the anxiety gets too bad, but the thoughts just don't stop. I try so hard to get the obsessive thoughts away from my mind, but nothing has worked all that well.

Right now my mind is so foggy that I just can't stand it. I've got so much running through my mind at once. My fears, the things I'm upset about, what I'm going to do today, my sleeping schedule, my overall physical feeling, etc.

I have had depression this winter and I'm still rather depressed. I went through quite a bit lately and it's all been weighing heavily on my mind.

My sleeping schedule is terrible. I've been staying up until about 8am or so and not waking up until about 4 or 5pm. I've been feeling depressed, anxious, depersonalization, derealization, and really fatigued. I've had no motivation to do much other than sit on the couch in a half-awake/half-asleep kind of state.

I also have an issue with maladaptive daydreaming disorder. Ever since I can remember, I've completely zoned out at random times, falling into a daydream or sometimes just a blank daze. It's gotten to the point where I can't even take a shower without zoning out and staring at the faucet for 15 minutes before I realize what I'm doing. It's really become a bother. When I cook dinner, it takes me hours. When I shower, it takes about an hour. When I'm driving, I only pay attention for about 5 minutes before I start to zone out.

Physical symptoms have also been bothering me: fatigue, headaches, hunger but no appetite at times, thirst but no desire to drink anything, weakness, and shaking from time to time.

Today, I've had this obsessive thought of psychosis. I'm terrified that I might get it, or even that I may have had it all my life. The fear of insanity is easy to brush off, though my security blanket makes it very difficult to do so. Since I was a small child, I've been obsessed with anime, and for as long as I can remember, my security blanket has been the anime pictures. I carry them around, or use a picture as the background on my cellphone or laptop. I know that it's not real, but my mind has gotten this attachment to it which makes me feel like the characters in the pictures are looking at me. As I said, I know they aren't real, but in a way I feel as if it is. I'm both embarrassed and confused by this security blanket, and often times I question myself as to how this came to be. In all honesty, I think this security blanket stems from loneliness. I was abused and bullied as a child up until I was 18, and it's very hard for me to find a good healthy relationship with anyone. I don't really have any friends. My family basically alienates me because I refuse to be around the drugs, and I haven't been in a relationship with a man for over 4 years. I think the sensation in my mind of someone being there and paying attention to me, real or not, is comforting. But this fear of psychosis makes me think that perhaps this is all it is.

I need to stop the obsessive thinking.

Any tips or feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

We're all real here. Many schools of thought say that it's *only* conscious/sentient things like people and animals that are truly real (the part of us that makes us, well, us), and I have no issue there. The cartoons are not real in a tangible sense, but they are an art form, so to an extent, if you subscribe to traditional thought, yes, they are real. It's just that the characters aren't people. Matrix reference: So even if there is no spoon, the Oracle is still nearby and she's real. That help?

I also have obsessive irrational thoughts and there are a few things that help me: number one is my faith; my hope and faith in God is what helps me remember that I will be okay,that I'm not crazy...number two is that I look at having irrational fears as fighting a battle, one that I will win! Having friends and/or family that you can confide in is extremely important! I guarantee that you have someone in your life already that you can talk to. Isolation is something that I found was not helpful at all because when we are alone with our thoughts, they just become more overwhelming. I find things to keep my busy like, writing poetry, doing a puzzle, watching one of my favorite movies, talking to friends/family on facebook, and most importantly, I pray. I'm not pushing prayer on you, I'm just saying what has worked for me during this struggle. I wish you the best of luck!

You are not crazy! You will be okay! You will win the battle!!!

Thanks to the both of you. No worries about pushing faith on me. I'm one who prays a lot as well. I've had every bit of proof I need in my life that there is a God, and I have a strong belief in such. Not much of a church goer, though I do try my hardest to be the best person I can be, not only to myself but to others as well. It's just that sometimes, I become overwhelmed and can't seem to focus on what I truly need in my life. For example: all day I sit and do almost nothing. I just sit and think about what it is that I want to do with my day and with my life, but I never seem to find the motivation to actually get up and do something. Also, I find it difficult to cope with a lot of my stress and anxiety simply because I don't know what God has in store for me or what is planned for my life.
Lately, I've felt so zoned out that I feel completely disconnected from both myself and the world around me. It's the most terrible feeling. My thoughts have been clustered to the point of not even being able to get a full sentence out before I completely forget what I was trying to say. Tonight, my mom went out with a friend, and I sat up and waited for her to get home because I obsessively worry, and she's been home for hours now, and I continuously have to remind myself that she's home because for some reason, I keep thinking she's still out with her friend.
I don't know why I have these awful feelings. I hate feeling like this. I can't stand the constant fatigue, jumbled thoughts, obsessive behaviors, and lack of motivation. Even my moods have been flying back and forth. One moment I'm feeling rather happy or positive, and the next I just feel like crying or screaming at someone. I feel like my emotions are just all over the place and it's very hard to control.