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Obsessive thoughts of developing Schizophrenia?

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Obsessive thoughts of developing Schizophrenia?

Postby chistoefur » Wed Mar 13, 2013 5:15 am

Hello everyone, my name is Christopher and I am a teenager. I'm not too new here, and I have a bit to say, so please just bare with me. :D

Well, I've been having quite a lot of intrusive thoughts about developing schizophrenia and going into psychotic episodes. I have very bad anxiety problems, and I'm complete mental-hypochondriac, which is probably why I have such a strong fear of it.

Ever since I smoked weed a little after 4 months ago, my anxiety problems went through the roof. It completely changed my outlook of the world. I view everything in a different perspective now, everything is just different in a strange way. I usually have strange emotional responses to my environment. Like, if something seems strange or unfamiliar to me, it triggers odd sensations and emotions. It's strange, can that be caused by my anxiety?

I always feel so strangely out of it. I feel like I keep slipping away from what little sanity I have left. I can't control my mind anymore. It actually seems to generate it's own completely odd and random thoughts, and it's scaring the crap out of me. I feel like I have to let out my emotions, but I'm having so much trouble doing it now. I have so much trouble concentrating, and it's hard to even express myself in words. I'm having some difficulty just typing this down. I don't care about my personal hygiene much anymore. I also have very vivid fantasies and images in my head of very odd stuff happening, like me beginning to completely hallucinate and lose all touch with reality, like I did when I had a bad high. I sometimes get this strange feeling that I lived a different life before, I don't wanna believe it but I have such a strong sense I did. (I'm an atheist, so I don't know why I'd think that.)

So what can I do to stop being so scared of developing schizophrenia? I can't seem to do anything to relieve the fear, the thought of believing the most bizarre things and not being able to tell what is real from what is fake.. it completely terrifies me. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
chistoefur
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