ocd spike out of nowhere!

Hi everyone! Im new to this site and I am in the middle of an ocd spike. I just turned forty and my mother died when she was forty. I was only nine when she died. I believe her death is the cause of my ocd. I started having obsessions recently about why live when we just die anyway. Why go shopping or go have fun I am just going to die anyway. I hate this!! Three weeks ago I was enjoying life laughing and doing my own thing. Then out of nowhere it hit me. It has taken me down. I have suffered from OCD for seventeen years now. I take 100 mg of Zoloft daily and with doctors orders I am increasing it another twenty five. I do see a therapist on a regular basis. My entire family keeps telling me that its so obvious that turning forty triggered me but I dont see it. I usually have harm ocd. My mind just keeps saying over and over again that life is not important. I don't want to feel this way. I want to enjoy my children again. I used to have a horrible fear of dying but now its changing on me. I just want it to stop! Is anyone else familiar with this or is it just me??

I tried to post a little earlier but I don't think it went through so I posted this one. My heart goes out to sll sufferers of OCD.