OCD/OCPD??

I would like opinions (of course I know your opinions won't be a medical diagnosis, etc...) but I would like opinions nonetheless to aid me in my search for answers.

A "family" member is in her mid 40s. She has been married to a man for about 25 years who has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and as a sociopath. Although her husband was diagnosed with this when he went to prison for a white collar crime some years ago - no one researched what this diagnosis really meant. I came into the family about a year ago because I'm dating and now living with Jill's brother (after I divorced a man with narcissistic personality disorder). My boyfriend just wants his sister to be a happy person, and as I learned about Jill's husband and his NPD diagnosis - I shared what I knew about NPD with my boyfriend. Now that all of Jill's brothers understand NPD a LOT better, they want to know what their sister's issues are.

Jill is a hoarder - she says she saves everything due to sentimental value. She's been this way for years and she won't even let me come inside of her house because she is embarrassed. Jill is extremely religious - she sees everything as black and white. Although she says her husband is emotionally, verbally and physically abusive (and a serial cheater) - she won't leave him because she can't let the devil win and the bible doesn't allow for a divorce. Jill is a control freak - she spends her time butting into the business of others and telling others what they should do. Jill is extremely overtalkative - she hogs the conversation and interrupts the conversation. Jill is a buttinski - she will force her "helpfulness" onto others and has a desire to save everyone from their problems. Jill is always right no matter what - in fact, she will contradict herself within the same "argument" just to be right. Jill is blameful - she blames everyone else for her problems (i.e., she blames her mom for not teaching her to marry the right man and for not encouraging her to go to college, etc...). Jill alienates everyone with her overbearingness.

Keep in mind that Jill's husband is staying with her because he can do whatever he wants (include cheating) and Jill provides her husband with a constant source of narcissistic supply because she is always trying to "fix" him (she is obsessed with it) by lecturing him, etc....

The original motive of Jill's brothers was to try to reason with Jill to get Jill away from this sociopathic narcissist that abuses her. Now, they realize that Jill has her own issues and that Jill can't leave her husband until she can help herself first. So the questions are: Does Jill have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder? If not, then what might her mental issues be? Can the brothers do anything to help her be happy and healthy and if so, what?

Thank you!

Hard to say. The difference between OCD and OPCD has to do with someone's emotions towards their obsessions (and compulsions).

OCD is ego-dystonic, meaning whatever obsessions they have, is strongly against their true beliefs. For example, people with OCD about dirt and contamination has compulsions done simply out of fear, they derive no pleasure from washing their hands fifty times a day. People with OPCD will derive some pleasure from their obsessions or compulsions, and they are known as ego-syntonic.

The cleaning example didn't fit completely, so I'll use another example:

Picture two persons reading medicine, none of them are doctors or work with anything related to medicine.

OCD sufferer: I believe I'm dying from cancer, even though my doctor can't diagnose me with anything. To be able to understand my cancer and to guide my doctor, I need to learn about cancer so much that I'm able to tell my doctor which tests to run, I need to learn the early signs, I need to have complete control to keep me from dying.

OPCD sufferer: Even though this probably is useless knowledge for me, I need to know more about it. I don't know why, I just do. It's so interesting, it's almost consuming me. I need to learn everything I can about cancer, I can't believe why other people don't find this subject interesting when I'm bringing it up.

Of course, the subjects may (and often will) change. But do you see the difference? In OCD, the compulsions are done simply out of fear (fear about what is obsessing them). In OPCD, people often get some pleasure out of whatever their actions may be.

Sorry I can't answer your question more precise.

afraidofdiseases wrote:OPCD sufferer: Even though this probably is useless knowledge for me, I need to know more about it. I don't know why, I just do. It's so interesting, it's almost consuming me. I need to learn everything I can about cancer, I can't believe why other people don't find this subject interesting when I'm bringing it up.

This example doesn't really fit with what I've read about OCPD. I think the person with OCPD is more likely to see their obsession as a virtue. (It is egosyntonic after all.) My suggestion is that the person with OCPD will think something along the lines that other people are stupid or lazy because unlike him or her, they don't bother to research things for themselves. They might also think a lot of doctors are hopeless because they don't know this information.
(I don't think the OCPD stereotype would consider anything they do to be "useless" or justify their actions because something is "interesting". In the OCPD-mindset, everything has a purpose and the way things are done is either right or wrong. They are too generally too rigid to enjoy something simply because it is a pleasant distraction.)

afraidofdiseases wrote:Does Jill have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder?

It sounds like a possibility. But she may also just be a very conscientious person with a strong moral focus.

chloewendy wrote:Can the brothers do anything to help her be happy and healthy and if so, what?

They could let Jill know that they are there for her if she needs support or if she decides she wants to leave her husband. If Jill doesn't see that she has a problem, and doesn't ask for help, then I don't think there is anything to be done.

(Not to say that you are doing this, but be careful not to project your own feelings about your narcissistic ex onto Jill. How she feels about her husband may be quite different, and not all narcissistic men are the same anyway.)