New here. Relieved to have found this place.

Hello Everyone,

I am so thankful to have found this site. There is some strange, sad comfort in knowing that I am not alone.

So to start, I think I have battled with OCD much of my life but for some reason or another, psychiatrists tend to diagnose as Bipolar. I was diagnosed with Trichotillomania when I was younger and still pull often, yet was never offered any therapy/meds for it; it just always *was*. Looking back on my life, I can see where my obsessions are maybe different than the "typical" OCD obsessions. I don't count things excessively, I am not a germaphobe, I don't need to touch things a certain number of times.

I am a little frustrated that is has gone under the radar for as long as it has, and I am now in a position where I am not functioning - at all. For over a week, I have only eaten enough to not starve but have likely lost a significant amount of weight. I literally can't get by without my benzo's (which I just was prescribed due to extreme anxiety, and after much research between myself and my husband, we believe is triggered by OCD). I started therapy last Tuesday for "PTSD", which I plan to tell her I think is a crock and that I think what happened, is that severe obsessions were triggered.

Sorry if I am a little back and forth here. I can look back at many things throughout my life and go "Oh wow, why did nobody notice that?" I actually had one pyschiatrist who knew there was SOME sort of OCD going on but it was just not something he had dealt with before so he just...didn't deal with it. I've always been somebody who needs reassurance that I am not "crazy" or that I am doing the right things. I also tend to feel the need to confess all of my wrong doings, even if they aren't wrong. It has progressed to the point where I am dealing with some morbid OCD thoughts and that is what triggered the amount of research I've put in. I felt like/feel like a monster. LIke a sick, disgusting person for having thought/thinking the things that I do. It seems the more I try to fight the thoughts, the worse the are.

I am lucky to have the support of my family, especially my husband. I don't know many men who could hear the things I am thinking and still stick by their wive's side but he knows, probably better than I do, that these are thoughts, not threats and that with treatment, we will get me back to a good place again.

So, that is my intro. I really hope I can find some support and be of support to others. Any tips for how to get my therapist to go along with me? I know, without any ounce of doubt, what I am dealing with and I fear that she will try to tell me that I am wrong or try a treatment that is proven to make things worse. Obviously, I would switch around if need be but this is hard enough to talk about with one person, let alone the thought of several until I find the "right" person.

I'm really glad you posted this.

I feel like so many people are overdiagnosed with this sort of thing and it's really hard to find people that are truely sincere.

I am currently trying to understand my own thoughts lately. I posted my issues as well and am waiting on post approval. Mine is pretty long, but long story short, you are not alone. I am currently finding the best way to cope with these issues because I don't have access to a therapist and/or I've had bad situations where they really don't understand nor seem to care to.

I was able to train myself out of the repetitive touching and checking when I was little, I don't know how but I was. And now battle graphic nightmares and severe obsession and need to do things perfectly to the point where it's beginning to control my life and come between my coworkers and I.

If you need to talk, just know that you have a mind that is open and familiar to the issues you experience. <3