scared

I am new to support groups, I need someone to be there for me and help. I think I have pure O. I am currently taking zoloft and I'm scared to take it. I have been on it for 31 days now 25 mg. I was on 50 mg for 11 days but I went back down because I thought my anxiety worse. I am scared the zoloft may make me act crazy although it hasn't yet this fear is crazy. I have intrusive thoughts about harming my loved ones. It causes me so much anxiety and scares the total crap out of me. My psychologist said I have GAD and some OCD. I'm always in a terrified state almost afraid to move sometimes. I avoid being alone at all cost but it does not work. My husband has to work. I am working on cbt therapy but I am still terrified I do not want to get out of bed to face another day I count down the hours until my husband comes home and when alone I keep my dogs close to me. I fear I'm losing my mind. I get stuck on one thought for a while it scares me over and over again then it goes away to be replaced by another. I read you just have to accept the thoughts and keep going and then they will slowly become less but I have such a hard time because of the fear. I cry all the time I curl up on my husband and beg for this to go away. I have always been such a good mom and now I am missing everything because of my this irrational fear. Someone please help!

So sorry to hear about what you're going through. It's truly the worst.
In terms of the Zoloft, I can tell you that I take 150/day (I have ocd) and it helps me tremendously. I might not be functioning without it. If your doctor told you to take it, maybe you want to try it. It's worth a shot.

I am taking it I have been for 32 days I am just scared it will make me go nuts. I hope not I'm only on 25 mg, thanks for your help.

-- Tue Nov 20, 2012 12:54 pm --

I am taking it I have been for 32 days I am just scared it will make me go nuts. I hope not I'm only on 25 mg, thanks for your help.

Ugh, OCD really stinks! I take 40 grams of celexa (citalopram is the generic) and it really helps. I tried another med first (think it may have been Prozac?) and the first day I took it I literally couldn't sleep all night and absolutely panicked. Called my doc at 3am and she said, "yeah, um, stop taking that one-- we'll try a different one!" So it may take a couple tries to find one that works for you and get the dosage right. Don't give up! Talk to your doc about it and if this one doesn't work, try a different one. My counselor said that OCD tends to need higher dosages than depression/etc.
(Also, as a side note-- meds will NOT make you go crazy, and they will not make you act out any of your intrusive thoughts. That worry is definitely the OCD talking. I know it seems like a real thought, but tell yourself it is OCD and get help from a counselor in figuring out what medication will work for you.)
A counselor can be SUPER helpful. God has been using counseling and meds in helping me get better-- I went from being completely not able to function to having a functional life again. Still struggle with OCD thoughts but nothing like it was a couple years ago! Whew!!! I definitely, definitely recommend counseling. Again, it may take a couple tries to find the right counselor-- you need someone who understands OCD and how to work with it, and also someone you feel comfortable with.
I've been in a similar spot to you, and I want to encourage you that it can get better! There are many others out there who know how you feel. Praying for you! -A fellow OCD sufferer