Help me please !! Religious OCD !!

I just don't know whats real anymore..

Grath-- I suffer from religious OCD as well. It stinks! But it can get better. I definitely second what the others have suggested-- counseling and medication have been really helpful for me (and though I was reluctant on the medication, it really has helped reduce symptoms.) Most of all, I want to suggest this: don't be afraid to tell God what's going on in your brain, and ask Him for help. It's very, very hard with this kind of OCD to tell which thoughts are "legitimate" and which are OCD-- ask Him to help you know which are which. Tell Him you don't want to be a priest. Ask Him to help you know what He's really saying to you. He loves you, and you don't have to be "good enough" to be saved. All you have to do is ask Jesus for help and accept the forgiveness He's offering you.
Hope this advice doesn't offend you! But I've found this to be true in my experience and felt like I needed to share it with you. Religious OCD is so, so painful. Praying for you! Yours, a fellow OCD sufferer

Grath. I know what you are going thru, it happens to me with nun and many other things. But all your obsessive thoughts will fade, just deal with the discomfort and give them time.
I ve had worst thoughts than that, And have felt there is no solution, but believe me when I tell you, there is always an answer and you will surpass this. Avoid thinking of suicide, your life is too precious, no matter the problem there is always a solution even though sometimes it takes longer or it is harder. Even though you feel like you don't know what you want anymore, believe me you will find out. I agree that medicine will help you as well as therapy. But not any kind, you are your best inversion so you have to look for the best, a good doctor specialized in OCD that gives you a good medicine and also a good therapy, usually the best is cognitive therapy and not talk therapy. I have visited many doctors, many haven't worked for me but I haven't given up, I have one now that I like who works with this therapy. Having discipline and work helps aswell.
Remember that in difficult situations, breaking up with your partner, etc. triggers it and it can get worse, but is only a phase.
I am 24 years old, it's difficult to live with OCD, not everybody understands us, but it can really get better.
And thank you all because with your responses you also make me feel Inam not alone or the only one in this religious thoughts.

I'm so incredibly relieved to c that others struggle w religious ocd.
I have intense obsessive thoughts that I'm going to use profanity while praying. It's horrible. I can't make the thoughts go away and I feel crazy.
I also obsess if my life is pleasing to God. It's agonizing and my mind tortures me daily that I'm not doing enuf scripturally to please God.
I try and try but don't find joy in serving God cuz I don't feel like I ever please him.
Does anyone else struggle w anything remotely familiar?
Thank you for any and all suggestions

Hi guys,I've got to say that reading your post was one of the best things that could've happened to me, because I suffer from the same thing you do. The exact same obsession. So, I am more relaxed now becuase, you know, now I know it's OCD (I was like a freaking compulsion, wasn't it?).
Everything started back when I was a not practicing Catholic (I liked the idea of a God and an afterlife but never really gave a ###$). But, one day, I read on the internet that non practicing Catholics were going to Hell, directly spit from Jesus' mouth... So it all started when I started going to Mass, stopped masturbating, confessing my sins twice a week and had obsession like "I need to pray a Rosary now because it would be a sin if not" or "Did I pray correctly?" and "Was that a sin or not?", and my compulsions included praying over and over the same prayer to be calm, or confessing more than I should, and such things, when I was never driven by faith but by fear. I wanted there to be a God, but it was never a loving Jesus-caring-faithful thing, it was all about getting to Heaven instead of Hell. It was an insurance...
Then, when time went by, I got to know through the internet (yes, I had a lot of Cahtolic pages bookmarked and stuff) that some men are chosen by God to be priests and if they don't find their vocation, they'll not live a happy life... and I started wondering if I was one of them, becuase I needed to be sure that I was gonna live a happy life. And so it went just like you, and it still is. As I write this, I wonder whether this is even true, am I just lying to myself? I just sometimes don't even know what or who I am, but I really would love to be able to stop having this strugle, I wish I could just delete the "Religion" file in my brain and move on. I can picture myself happy, living a normal life with my friends, following a carrier in medicine, falling in love with someone, etc... but then it comes around again... "Are those thought really what you want to do?" "Are you sure?" "What if they are not?" "What if I am lying to myself?" "What if my vocation is to be a priest?" and so on... I wish that I had been born in a non-religious family, gone to a non-religous school, I wish this #######4 religion thing had never got in my life... but these thoughts, they get me anxious, they depress me, and I, as you said, am very scared of therapy and medicine because "What if I am in denial or something ike that?". I remember feeling sure about my goals in life, but now I am wondering if they were ever real...