Returning after a break... in more ways than one!

It has been a while since I was here, I had given it a break as I was doing well it seemed. I know I was comfortable, and things were good with me. I was just comfortable with myself and within myself.

I had a surgery a couple years back that resulted in some nerve pain (neuropathy) and this was treated with medication. Little old me was conscious of the potential issues of the medication (as it can affect mental health). For months all was fine except the medication started to lose its edge and control the neuropathy. A visit to my doctor saw the dosage increase from a single tablet, to 1 twice daily.

This certainly controlled the neuropathy better, but little did I know it was gradually changing my mental health. A couple months back I was experiencing some drastic mood swings which became increasingly volatile. So much so I ended up in tears at my workplace (thankfully not in front of customers). A little investigation into the cause and I remembered the medication side effects. A quick doctor visit ensued and it was explained simply as a rain water tank filling but not being emptied. It overflowed and caused lots of damage (namely to my mental health)

I then spent the next month in a detoxification from that one medication, and during this time I was communicating with a good friend who also struggled with mental health issues. We were supporting each other and it was a good avenue I thought as we had a good rapport with each other.

As I came off the medication and my mood levelled out I found that I had unfortunately fallen in love with the lady and advised her of this. She proceeded to shoot me down even though she had over the past month provided a wide array of mixed signals in my opinion. I accepted her decision and we continued to talk as friends and assist each other with positivity.

A month ago she entered a new relationship with another gentleman whom she grew up with many years before. Our friendship has gradually deteriorated over a period of weeks, as he enters more and more of her life. I know that she took a sudden negative shift in her mental health in the last couple of weeks as well. I also recently became aware that her new partner struggles with his own mental health issues, but I am not sure exactly what or how.

I recently completed a counselling session which was highly helpful for me and allowed me to see my errors and misgivings and I wanted to share this with her. I sent her a message on Facebook only for it to not be able to go through, I later realized that she has in fact deleted and blocked me from all aspects of her life.

For months we had been open and honest with each other, and she even shared some of her dark personal secrets that nobody from her old workplace knows. The thing that hurt me most was that she completely shut me out without even an explanation when she knows my issues and how they effect me.

The last couple of days have been truly chaotic with my emotions swinging from happy to sad depending on the trigger.... but thanks to the recent counselling this hasn't been as horrifically devastating as it normally would be.

Welcome back, though I wish it was under better circumstances.

Snaga wrote:Welcome back, though I wish it was under better circumstances.

I would honestly rather have been able to stay away... I was doing so well without any major problems thanks to a good deal of work from others.

Unfortunately, I was prescribed 1 dodgy medication because doctors were treating the symptom and not the cause of the problem. It has impacted multiple levels of my being causing a wide array of issues. Unfortunately it has also resulted in insomnia and a lot of depressive thoughts and a great deal of overthinking.

I take it you've discontinued it. Has it eased up any?

Yeah I have discontinued the medication and it easing up slowly, unfortunately it caused a lot of issues. Suffering some insomnia still from it but of course the worst part was the impact on my mental health which also hurt someone close to me and now they are no longer talking or have me as a friend.

I just hope and pray that in time they can forgive me.

Hopefully so. Maybe they'll eventually understand that it was the meds making you that way.

Snaga wrote:Hopefully so. Maybe they'll eventually understand that it was the meds making you that way.

I do hope so and I just have to give them some time and space to sort through their own Mental Health issues, which I know are complex as well thanks to an abusive ex-partner who was narcissistic and rather violent when intoxicated.