News of Borderline Personality Disorder Forum

had therapy meeting this weekend. here's how it went:

me: i feel ashamed at public breakdown. wish it had happened inside family as opposed to in public.
therapist: ur peers must've forgotten of it decades ago. mentioned 2 other breakdowns he knew of and said in corporate environment its common

me: i wish the gay sex hadnt happened. i cant accept this.
therapist: many teens do such behavior. even adults do it. experimentation is very ...

I'm not sure if this goes here but since I'm BPD, (with Sociopathic traits), I wonder if any other Borderlines feel they are incapable of feeling any emotional connection with the opposite sex. The ONLY feelings I get are intense lust and delusional feelings they arise from loving someone I cannot have and don't know. As soon as they return the emotions or even SEEM as if they're opening up emotionally to me, I get ...

help me... the voice doesnt go... there is this tv show where:
womanizer has affair with married woman, manipulates her into thinking its true love whereas in reality hes only fooling her. when the husband finds out, he divorces the woman.
womanizer dumps the woman but later manipulates her back into his life only to fool her into prostitution... when she realizes she's been fooled, she kills him.

in prison she regrets leaving her husband... ...

so there is this tv character who gets fooled by someone. she ends up divorcing her gem of a husband for this guy who betrays her badly. when she realizes how he fooled her, she kills him and ends up in prison regretting meeting the guy ever.

i'm obsessed with her. feel sorry for her. pity her. it's like she's stuck in my head :( ...

that authoritarian woman ruined my life completely. i would beg her i dont want to go to my abuser's place, plead with her... but she never listened... crazy woman... she just always ignored me n emotionally blackmailed me n sweetly said, 'wont you do it for me...' n look the other way...

it was like she wasnt capable of listening to a 'no'.

sure she had reasons for her behavior. but this is insane... i ...

My life is a mess and I idealized and emotionally hurt a girl (advice)

I met a girl on a dating app, we talked so much (she said very emotional things to me, that made me overvalue her), we arranged a date, a few days before the date we had a phone call and she tried mocking me. On the next day she apologized and I accepted that,next day we had the date, but that ...

For a partner to be physically abusive towards you?

I know my reactions can be over the top and I feel that I push people towards being violent to me.

After a particularly traumatic relationship where I pushed out memories, it seems to be repeating and I am the only consistent factor. I feel like it's my fault for being a difficult case.

who have experience??

I have been with my partner for a long time. Been there when he was diagnosed with BPD

I am the last person he hasn't cut off but he has been having major issues recently

He hasn't seen anyone from CMHT for sometime and I really thought we'd made progress this week as he spoke to someone for the first time in nearly 2 years.

However he is extremely suicidal, self harming and as I ...

this is so exhausting. being happy, cheerful, live a life, be responsible for ur life... it's all an obligation now. miss the time when it was natural. when i 'enjoyed' stuff
now everything is an obligation toward myself... so i dont waste this 'opportunity' called life...