News of Borderline Personality Disorder Forum

I have a bf for two years now, who I am completely madly in love with. In 45 years, I have never had anything like this. My pattern has always been very distinct: First, fall madly insanely in love (for me love = passionate sex) with some narcisstic a*hole who dumps me (or forces me to dump him due to unacceptable behavior) after a few weeks, followed immediately by a long term (average 5 years) ...

That is something I have never understood. Often I will think I am reacting to my anger or disappointment the correct way but it later becomes a full on explosive tantrum.

What do you think? What works for you? Nons please feel free to answer as well.

I've gone several days without triggering, which is very remarkable for me. And oddly, I even feel okay. I hope, knock on wood, I'm starting to find ways ...

Note to self: work on getting medical insurance back on so I can go back to therapy. I always refuse meds. That's cool. I honestly don't think I need them. But I can't just not receive any help. Clearly I can't function right now.

Oh. Forgot to mention. I chickened out of therapy months ago. Then my insurance conveniently gets cancelled because my idiotic self didn't check my mail for MONTHS and fill out important ...

I hide from everything now. This intense fear of leaving my house came suddenly when I moved into the house with my 'hubs' and 2 dogs in June. ...Sadly, it doesn't quite feel like home... I still feel like I'm in someone else's space sometimes. And, though it ought to be my haven, it's certainly not impenetrable from unwanted attacks (i.e. mother-in-law showing up unannounced whenever she wants, even after laying "ground rules" like CALL ...

I am at work. I have done most of the newspaper clippings. This involves sitting down. When re-arranging things and putting the clippings up, I hurried to sit back down.

I wear earphones to recieve constant feedback. I listen to the Bible, the Gita, the Gayatri Mantra, Bollywood Songs and sometimes some residual "Cure" that was burned onto the player.


When-----can---the--earphones---come---off?

I have been sitting down more because I do the clippings and I answer ...

Brain zaps, all these awful withdrawal symptoms - OMG why start something when it has the potential of doing these scary things? But so many therapist say I NEED to be on medication. that my biochemistry might just make it nearly impossible for me to do these things on my own - like motivation or not be on high alert all the time.

OMG, I just feel like I'm DOOMED.

This is how I feel: ...

How do u know if you're letting go of a bad relationship , or letting go of the one person who really cares , despite the way he acts ????

I feel uncalled, under appreciated , taken for granted. But how do I know if that's his fault, or just the way I always feel. Surely if all my relationships go this way it must be me with the problem . :'(

I just want to curl up and sleep for days on end. I really hate being this tired, it makes it so much more difficult to control my emotions and to realize when I'm about to be triggered. Between vivid dreams and getting up to pee constantly at night, I'm barely getting any sleep.

Anyone else have issues staying in control when you don't get enough sleep? Is there anything you have found that helps ...

This lady came into the Sales office and she was very nice, but I asked her if she dealt at all with people who had learning disabilities since she taught life skills to a people on probation at the local junior college, or rather one of the junior colleges. She said that she didn't because you had to have a certain level of ability.

I have a learning disability; my husband has a learning disability; ...

Do you ever hear your thoughts aloud those of you with psychotic features? I sometimes feel like my thoughts are being broadcast out of my head. But thats not really the issue. my issue is i hear a voice at times saying my thoughts and it is an audible voice at times, but it is in my head. like it would sound like only i could hear it. But it sounds like one of my ...