News of Borderline Personality Disorder Forum

I barely got any sleep last night. Between nightmares/vivid dreams, the kittens meowing, and having to get up to pee 3 different times, I got like barely any actual restful sleep.

I just feel so empty and helpless this morning. I just want to break down and cry. I miss my medicine, I miss feeling a sense of control over my behavior, thoughts, and feelings. I'm looking at around 14 more weeks (MIL wants me ...

I do these things to myself and then wonder why I can't keep up. I cut and then wonder why I'm anemic. Last night, I mixed my klonopin with alcohol-- one and a half strong beers and a glass of wine, with a miligram of klon. This morning I'm nauseous and my back hurts. I may have seriously damaged my liver. Why do I do these things to myself? Why am I so dumb? Why ...

I always knew. I never wanted to admit it, that I was just like my mother, but I always knew I was. Every time I stumble over the boundaries I set for myself it becomes obvious.

I feel so fake and disgusting. I can't even bring myself to say how bad it is. I changed everything about myself, I put down my entire life in a heartbeat and became a completely different person just for ...

Okay so, I have pretty severe borderline(I could prob. be the poster child lol), mdd ect..

The other night my boyfriend pulled an all nighter to study for a test and I tried to stay up and study as well but, I fell asleep around 2 or 3 on the couch. He was sitting on the other side of the couch(its a crescent) the whole time. I woke up periodically as I usually do when ...

My bf has a group of guy friends that have been friends for years now. I don't hate them, but I don’t have much positive regard for them and have huge anxiety about socializing with them.

They never try to talk to me when I am around them. I almost always have to start the conversation and they don’t carry it on and just respond to what I'm saying. They don't ask about my life. ...

I finally thought I'd "found" myself and what I am really like as a person, I thought I was this good person who wouldn't do harm by anyone, wouldn't speak bad of anyone, studious, caring, someone who was prepared to work to be the best they could be.

Then I just realised most of this is actually probably an act. To make myself feel better about who I really am maybe?
Why do I have ...

For example-

To say "Hello" to the ones who want that and not speak to those who dont?

OR

To speak when we want and not worry about the response?

This is like living in passion where we see all entities as different OR it can be as the mode of goodness and to see all with an equal eye.

One person said that identity formation and finding the self has to do with noticing consistent patterns and making them consistent in each relationship or stance that one takes-in all contexts of life.

So, can we call this "integrative pattern recognition?"

And also, the goal is to be likened to a "detached observer" as some also talk about?

Inner work.
Outside defense.

Building a house.

Has anyone else dealt with gender dysphoria who is borderline. I've always been very confused about my gender. I never knew if it was because I was trans or it was just because i lacked a true "self" and it was just me being a "chameleon". I do have a lot of memories from childhood of feeling like I was a girl and wanting to change my body to become female but i don't recall ...

So I have been treating my BPD for about 3+ years now. I have made some very very good progress I think. I was venturing out and having some good interpersonal and romantic relationships about a year ago. I had one end very very badly and shortly after I stopped altogether. A bad relationship was what initially helped me identify and seek help for BPD. That plus some other serious SH behaviors.

I have been ...