News of Borderline Personality Disorder Forum

I have no direction in life.. I can't seem to make or keep any commitments, I can't keep any goals..
Right now I feel so unbelievably empty. I have nothing inside me, no motivation, no desire, no plans...
I feel so hopeless in my life, so lonely and so empty. But every time I get some idea to fill myself up, everytime I try to find a direction for myself to go in, I feel ...

ok, so this is going to probably come out a bit rambled as im just thinking about it...i had an idea and got excited so i just have to write it down straight away...

Ok, so this kind of leads on from my last topic, but ive been trying to figure out why i wont allow myself to just be happy, why when i dont feel like $#%^, do i want to feel like it ...

F*ck being self-aware. Self-awareness, at this moment, means being perfectly, painfully aware of all of my classical, beautiful, and broken flaws.

It means being dangerously aware of the black and white, but never, ever, being able to ever find the gray.

It's that Looney Tunes phenomenon in real time -- walking off the edge of the cliff and blithely trotting upon the air, only realizing far too late that there is no ground, after all. ...

Having had a tumultuous childhood, been raped at the emergence of adolescence and engaged in a couple of physically and emotionally abusive significant relationships throughout my late teens and early 20s, I find myself completely unable to love and nurture myself in consistant and wholesome ways. For many years, I have suffered on and off with a serious eating disorder, social phobias, panic attacks, horrible depressions and wreckless manias. I spent a significant period of ...

Im hoping that writing this will help me work out how i feel, maybe someone might be able to help me understand coz at this moment im feeling quite confused.
I feel better but i know im not!! or am i???
I feel better but i dont want to be!! ?? dont get this, why dont i want to be????
I feel empty almost, not sure of how im feeling, what emotion, its not happy, ...

Okay, so I just added my mother of facebook because I found a way to hide all the my stuff so she couldn't see it.

Now I stroll down her page a bit and I notice my twin brother has written all over it with all this ass kissing $#%^!

Like " Goodnight mamma and dad thanks for making the looong haul and adopting me. Its every orphans dream to one day be choosen by ...

I feel like I have lost total control over my life. I need any and all advice possible, Im practically in tears at this point. My family thinks of me as an embarassment and an emotional burden, as do practically each and every one of my friends. I am so scared to put myself out there, because the outcome is always the same. You go on a first date, and it ends up being the ...

I am 21 years old, and I live with my girlfriend right now. We aren't in a very good way financially, and I really can't afford to go to a psychologist/psychiatrist. I stopped seeing one once I turned 18, after going for the previous 5 years and also doing DBT, because it really didn't seem to do much for me. I moved out when I was 17 because of some problems I had at home ...

how old are you and how old were you when you were diagnosed?

im interested to see you age and age of onset

im 22 years old
i was diagnosed at 18 years of age
so 4 years ago

I hate this cycle. You guys know what I am talking about?


Something will fill that void for a while, than bam your bored with it and feeling empty looking for the next thing to fill you up.

I can't remember who it was, but someone one here once said BPD is like " Gambling " " You throw everything in to see what you can get in short term to met your needs, than ...