News of Borderline Personality Disorder Forum

I suffer from BPD and I’ve been with my boyfriend just over a year now.

I have HUGE trust issues with my boyfriend.
He’s lied to me in the past several occasions about himself and his past …
His got a history with girls/girlfriends; this affects how I feel about him …
He’s lied about who he has slept with, about cheating on ex’s, and about kissing and being sexual about other people.

I know ...

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land
Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting ...

Maybe I must search in this forum and web before I ask here, but now I cannot do that. Aren't there any practical references which I can read online, or advises to stabilize myself? I feel my thinking is makng my condition worse and worse, and I am losing a control over me. I need to stop it.

Okay, so we've all been doing a lot of great work on here lately... lots of support... lots of good stuff...


Now let's have some FUN!!!

Anyone want to share their favorite videos, songs, etc.?

Here's mine... and corresponds with my avatar :0)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg

"Ew, he's eating larvae! That's so disgusting!"
"Look at him run backwards!"
"Watch out, says that bird!"


HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Have fun, peeps... we need some humor in our day <3

AMP

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I've been reading a lot of your all's posts. It has occurred to me on more than one occasion that many of us are actively working toward "recovery", and I had the following thoughts about this.

I am considered "recovered", but constantly fear that my behaviors can rear their ugly heads when I'm am deeply triggered without having the ability to step back or move ...

Pretty severe depression hit me for past three months. I just could not shake it. I knew I was being triggered by a co-worker who just would not back down. Friendly and seductive to my face, all knives behind my back. I would go out of my to avoid this person, to no avail.

This person was a huge trigger for me, one I just could not get away from - it felt like I ...

So, I am sticking with a 12 step programme for the moment in the hope that once my new meds and therapy kick in, things will improve. I'm relieved but still overwhelmed to have been officially diagnosed BPD.

Yesterday I heard a chair by a guy I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand I respect him and his honesty on the other he really triggers something in me. When I first saw him ...

Do any of you split into bad girl and good girl. I either am really "bad" and I see myself as being bad, I get angry, suicidal, agitated, anxious do bad things, like for example I got charged with willfull damage for smashing a computer at an insurance company because I felt angry and then I have times when I am "good" I'm kind, helpful, friendly, get on with everyone and I don't have a ...

I have the biggest crush on my therapist. He is gay and a lot older than me but I just find him sexually attractive. He is the kindest, most compassionate person and also very good looking. I love his laugh and the way he talks and the way he dresses. He dresses in bright colors and I find it hot. He's also one of the few people I trust and he seems to get me ...

I was dating a nice guy who adored me and cared deeply for me. I also loved him or so I thought but yesterday I slept with another guy and dumped my boyfriend and decided to go out with this new guy. I don't know if I have done the right thing. I feel guilty for cheating on my boyfriend and I think I've lost something really good. He is the most caring individual but ...