Look at what's happening here on the grand scale: It's a vicious cycle that you and he are part of, and you both don't seem to know how to get out of it. Since you are the one to come here looking for help, then maybe it's you that should initiate the first move out of this cycle. It's about doing things differently, and making sure that you don't repeat old 'beaten' ground/paths. So, the ...
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