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When I was young, probably between 5 and 7 years old, I remember having fantasies or story-lines when I was playing/using my imagination to come up with story-lines, where other people would force themselves sexually on me. Then when I was about 10 and started masturbating, I would always fantasize that I was being restrained and someone was touching me and trying to make me orgasm, no matter how hard I fought against it/them. Now, ...

I was once but an empty canvas
Then painted by those long ago

Now about to be painted over
A more varied palette in tow

I shall guide the brush this time
My colors no longer my foe

Stroke upon stroke, watch me now
As I allow myself to show

~~~

I just found out that the girl I love was diagnosed with DID a couple years ago. Around the time when her alter first "made herself known", she began experiencing random heart palpitations, with the most debilitating attacks occurring near bedtime. She has maybe 2-7 a day. She's had EKGs and heart monitor tests, but results showed nothing.

The doctor(s) told her that if these palpitations continue, she will likely die in 10 years. She's ...

Hello everyone. I am new here and was looking for some advice.

I have bipolar II (diagnosed at 18 - now 25). I often find that one of the hardest things to deal with is coming to terms with the fact that my behaviour when I'm ill is not always normal or 100% socially acceptable. I enjoy the times when I am well, but when I'm no longer in crisis, I find myself ruminating on ...

After reading a very long paper on NPD and those who love them, i came to realize that the last few long relationships have been with the same person in a different body. This time, this one is a bit different.

I am not here for revenge ideas, or to tell anyone to run away from another. I am here to find some helpful support and advice on loving a man with NPD.

I understand ...

It's been suggested I have a mixed personality disorder with paranoid and schizoid traits. Thing is, I don't think I'm schizoid because I'm too hotheaded and schizoids don't get angry apparently.

PPD seems to fit me to a tee. My therapist reckons I probably do have it, even though she herself admits she isn't in a position to diagnose.

I don't agree about being schizoid though I do live almost an identical lifstyle. Do you ...

I'm new here. I suck at talking about my life and so on. So i decided to take a text (story, poem, whatever) i wrote as a 16 year old guy. Even back then it was clear to me to what direction my life is going.Then I named that story "Autobiography of a mad man". But as i got older and had experienced more i decided to rename it into "The city". I translated it ...

Went to see the doctor today, told her as much as I could remember about myself. She decided to refer me to my local place that does assessments and therapy and she sends them a questionaire I filled out (which was stupidly vague). Anyway, I ring them next week and speak to them, and they decide who to send me to. Her guess was for a full psychiatric evaluation as, and I quote, "10 minutes ...

I am going to give a brief sub-history before telling you the news. I have been with my Core for near 14 years now. Throughout this time I have never been able to accept his family as my own and through all this I have always wondered and wanted my own family. About one year ago the Core and his Fiance noticed when I would surface, I was very immature and childish. That all stopped ...

This is to the other NPD individuals out there, I was wondering if anyone knew how to deal with this symptom:

Whenever I'm talking about myself and getting a lot of supply from people I find it really hard to stop myself and focus on the other person. I was out with someone last night, we were talking, and they said "you're a really interesting person, I really look up to you, I'd love to ...