Is my boss a narcissist?

My boss said to me the other day that he probably understands me better than i do myself...

NArc?

That's dumb. Way to jump to conclusions.

Very cockey of him I agree a N

Does your boss have narcissistic personality disorder? The lack of a sense of self, an inability to feel emotions deeply, a buried sense of shame, hidden underneath an inflated but fragile ego?

Based on what you've told us, almost certainly.

Astute!

mynameissue wrote:
Based on what you've told us, almost certainly.

Astute!

You're basing this on one sentence.
Okay. Excellent logic.


Or were you being sarcastic?, and I missed it. *hopes*

Yes. I was being sarcastic.

Yay! I'm sorry I doubted you

I should go to bed now

Granted one statement is little evidence of this - I shall elaborate further (also I typed out a whole thing before and it logged me out).

My boss:

- gets defensive when you suggest ideas
- doesn't trust easily
- dangles opportunities on a string in front of you and doesn't follow through.
- delivers criticism in a patronising way

TO explain further:

I am trying to decide whether I should continue attempting to gain a solid role with this guys company.

Heres my experience:

In 2009 ish I started working for this arts/entertainment warehouse venue in the part of town where I grew up. I felt an affinity to the place and felt interested in what was happening. This part of town has a dodgy reputation and this was a welcome addition. I had a full time job at the time and was looking for experience in other areas plus some extra cash. I was working on the bar, then as the supervisor and on the box office. I gained more interest and started gaining more experience in events and event management. I recognised the opportunities in the future and started showing my interest.

I noticed that promotion for in house events wasn't always going del and offered to takeover the social media and website stuff. When I first put this to him I said 'I could start a blog about the venue'
He replied with 'I am a write why do I need someone else to do this for me?' in a defensive manner. I replied that I am offering the skills that I have and that he is so busy running the venue and other stuff he could do with an assistant.

As time went on I didn't do much due to his response and then I decided to quit my job. I had free time and offered to do some tasks for him. He was impossible to contact, in decisive, patronising, made is difficult.
I was still working at the venue and he said some sexist things to me, one day he said 'Id like to slap you in the vagina' when I was bending over, I explained to him that he was out of line.

Hi Nattykr,
You really do need to know how the person thinks feels and acts in all arenas of their life and over an extended period of time to make a call of narcissist. You are looking to uncover a pattern of interpersonal failure and poor decision making.
What I can say is that the crude sexual language would not fly well where I live. We might be able to discount somethings but talking the way he did to you is not common parlance and is a red flag. It may have been a momentary slip in judgement after a heavy read of 50 Shades of Grey the night before. It does suggest to me that he sees you in sexual terms. ie Someone to hit on. I don't think we can make a call of anything else at this stage.
Having shown how what was said can be normalized,I might add that narcissist's do commonly speak crudely, as though the social boundaries don't apply to them. I wouldn't suggest all do it but being shocked by what they have said and leaving thinking 'Who speaks like that?' has been my experience. I recall others here on the threads reporting similar experiences too.
The job would have to be too good to pass up to be bothered to deal with this guy. You are building your list of resentments. That is just not good for you. You need to clear this resentment list by talking things through or go elsewhere. Just my thoughts really. Marg