Confronting Narc about His Snooping

Hello,

I am getting ready to confront my father-in-law about his snooping through my stuff when my wife and I leave the house. He is a covert narcissist and I have had my difficulties with him the last few years. I don't think confronting him will stop him from doing what he does best (I'm planning to buy a lock to do that) but I need to do a better job in setting boundaries with him. I admit that I did a poor job when I got married but this is something I think I have gotten better with lately.

Any assertive tips or stuff to watch out for? Thanks!

Before you begin, it would be helpful if you have hard evidence of his snooping.
Otherwise, be prepared for a complete denial of his actions.
(Even with hard evidence, you may never get an admission)
Don't let him turn the conversation; he's going to distract you, twist your words and want to turn YOU on the defensive. Never lose sight of your purpose, which is to set boundaries.
If you find the conversation straying from topic, regain control. Be firm. Don't be afraid to interrupt.
Good luck.

If your goal is to to get him to admit that what he is doing is wrong, it may never happen.

Thanks for all your responses. I already know that he will deny, deny, deny. My goal is to somehow set some boundaries in a calm and cool way.

I don't have any hard evidence but in the past I had planted a seed in his head that I was recording him at every possible opportunity. This ended the verbal abuse. However, it looks like this wasn't enough to stop his snoopy ways.

I tried confronting him once before about something else and he simply denied everything. He and his family members then proceeded to rage at me the next day (accusations of not being appreciative of them, crocodile tears, etc). I expect more of the same if I make some of the same mistakes. I am hopeful that I can make some headway.

They have "nanny-cams" out there for cheap. They are tiny, but record whole rooms. Buy one, install it and let the fun begin!