Nobody likes me everybody hates me, no worms available

Post go bye bye

Yeah, pity party, duh.

Do you think I should go to the journal party? I mean, just because I slit my wrists in front of him, does he have the right to banish me from his presence forever? I mean, it was 8 months ago, and he was a pretty horrible piece of work as well. It's not ALL my fault. I don't want to talk to him or anything (or even look at the ugly bas tard). I just want freedom to go to work events and perhaps to prove that I am over him and he doesn't get to have all of our mutual friends. I get some of the friends too.

And he doesn't have the power to make me "disappear." I am not going to disappear! I like to disappear sometimes, but not because someone wants to decide that my existence is a nuisance so I should just go poof and no longer be.

Sorry for all the complaining today. 1 week and the semester's over. Then I get to go hiking in Ecuador, hang out in the jungle and forget all about the stupid turd, come back and write a really cool Shakespeare article and read lots of fabulous poetry - and won't have to see him until August. Yay!!!!!!

If you're job depends on it then, by all means, go.

Slitting your wrists right in front of someone does carry baggage along with, and even (especially) normies just don't take that kinda stuff well. So, there will be a long time before they are comfortable around you.

Aside from that, why would you want to be douche friends to begin with? I totally get the frienemies thing but at some point there should be something deeper too. Perhaps you've just been choosing the wrong people in your corner.

It takes a village to raise a child...then the same village is needed to support the adult. JMO

If you were me..........

I would say you should go.

You should totally sexify yourself......go there, and be the centre of attention.


If you were me.........you'd need, to seriously ask yourself if you could handle seeing him. And seeing him interact with other people. Laughing, flirting....whatever.


If you were me...... i think the 2nd thing, would far outweigh the first.


When an ex i had, who shared the same social circle.........when i dumped her. And basically fukced her around enough, that she wouldn't take me back.

I had to seriously weigh, whether or not i could handle being around her. (after she wouldn't take me back, i was like you........minus the suicide/plea for attention )


Anyways......i stayed the hell away. New Years. Halloween. Christmas. I was nowhere to be found.

I really thought (mind you, i was younger)..........only 2 things could happen. I'd find any excuse to beat whatever guy she was with to death........or i'd sulk in the corner and hate myself for going.



So.........you know you. Can you handle it? Is it worth it?

Will you enjoy yourself?


Who are you trying to prove something to? Him or yourself?

Sorry for all the complaining today

Fukc you and fukc your sorry. Quit apologising for being you!



I do say........i tend to agree with Euler.

How is your BFF gay friend, your friend........if he associates with Narc.

Does he not believe you about him? I don't get that.



Anyways.......i just think, you care too much about what other people think.


All your issues........seem to be the same one.



(honestly, i don't know you at all..........but this party, sounds like a bad idea, not sure you are there yet)

Hope i'm wrong.

Post go bye bye

expressivecreative wrote:Well I never had any intention of going to the party. It's not "required" by any means. I just feel completely bullied and socially ostracized. He has taken measures (by getting his Prof advisor to speak to my director) to try and persuade me not to go, so now I sort of feel like going just to prove that I am a strong woman that can't be controlled anymore by him or his minions.

This one is about power - I've faced all the reminders of the event, except him. I don't want him to have power over me anymore. Yes, he will be laughing and enjoying himself with his loser minions and getting totally smashed, but he won't be flirting with anyone. Nobody is going to flirt with him. He is a self-aggrandizing, pompous, effeminate ass who brags about his accomplishments continually. The new married primary supply might be flirting with him (right in front of her idiot husband) but I doubt anyone else will be.


Also, it's highly likely that ex N will leave when I arrive. VICTORY!!!!!

Just a few thoughts.

Sounds like you're stuck between stages 4 and 5. DISENGAGE! Give the anger time to disappate. Try to distance yourself by networking with people "outside the circle." It doesn't help to constantly torment yourself with anger. You don't really need to label yourself with any PD at this time because it doesn't really matter. You'll have time for that later on. Your pride was wounded. So was mine and I don't have a PD. And worst of all...you have to come to terms with the fact that you're never going to have the truly logical answers to all those "why's" that run through your mind.

It's a loooooong road.

Yeah, I never intended to go to the party and probably don't have the guts to do it. I certainly wouldn't have a good time (unless, of course he leaves when I arrive).

I know it is not right to want revenge, but I am tired of being bullied. I want to fight back. Part of me wants to show up at EVERY off campus function just so he doesn't get his way. Is that wrong? Should I just let him walk all over me?

I probably won't go. I don't have the courage. Social shunning hurts bad.

And btw I don't have a PD - I may have histrionic tendencies because my mother was histrionic, but I otherwise haven't had issues until I met my N. My therapist pretty much said the other day that she "has to give me a diagnosis if we are to continue therapy," meaning, she has to say I have something, and I fit that box more than anything. I'm not saying I'm a "normie" but I prefer empath and codependent to PD. I am NOT like my ex.

"Disengaging" makes me a better person and is healthy, right? (sigh) I just want to punch him in the face.

expressivecreative wrote: I am tired of being bullied. I want to fight back. Part of me wants to show up at EVERY off campus function just so he doesn't get his way. Is that wrong? Should I just let him walk all over me?

I don't see his behavior, as you've described it, as bullying. I see what he's done and is doing as marks that he has put you out of his life and is moving on without you at all. I think it would be good if you did exactly the same. Easier said than done, I know. But the mindset of "He is absolutely gone to me. I am absolutely gone to him" is a healthier one than you watching his moves and thenreacting or countering them,

I probably won't go. I don't have the courage. Social shunning hurts bad.

Social shunning does hurt. And you're in a bit of a closed circle because you two work together and have concentric friend circles.
If you think he's painting a picture of you being 'the crazy one', then I'd suggest that you adopt a long term strategy to counter that. Act perfectly professional, perfectly normal, perfectly cordial and in control of yourself, and at ease, at all times in professional situations. Counter the impression. Make it hard for the gossip to have traction because all that anyone sees of you runs counter to that impression.
You might want to consider going to this party... staying just a short time but long enough to show those who notice and care and gossip that you are fine, happy, professionally moving ahead, and have let the whole thing go. Going for a short time, and presenting well, could be a show of strength on your part, but you'd have to go and be a picture of collegial warmth with an air of mild indifference and well-wishes. Could you do that?
People will eventually stop talking if there is nothing to talk about. Go, and give them nothing to talk about.

"Disengaging" makes me a better person and is healthy, right? (sigh) I just want to punch him in the face.

Disengaging is the only way to go... wehther you go (to the party), or not.

Go, and look great. Get your hair done, mails, done, new dress ect..........
Not in an attemt to get him back, but look great for you. If you look great you will feel great. Somtimes you have to fake it till you feel it.