Anyone here No Contact with their N Parent?

Thank you. That clears it up.

But...I understand now that the supporters do no-contact for the reasons you pointed out. But, do the sufferers ever instigate their own no-contact?

BlueFlower wrote: brother would come home to find his stuff out on the lawn, because he didn't wash the dishes or some such thing. Seems like children of Ns move out as soon as they can. No wonder. It breaks my heart too when I hear of kids running away~~society paints them as bad kids but nobody ever bothers to consider the parents and how awful they may be treating that child.

Sorry...got on a rant!

Oh my god... That brings back memories. I got caught drinking once and i came home to that, all my stuff in garbage bags behind the woodshed and my things on he lawn. They even removed my bed from my room, clothes, everything. Happened again when my sister "accidentally" discovered a $25 bag of pot deep in the back of my desk where nobody could realistically find it in some deep recess of my desk (it wasnt a kid desk, it was a hard core old school full size office desk of solid wood).

I also remember her racing out a 6am to come and get me from my friends house that i had slept over at because i hadnt made my bed before i left. my sister did tye driving for 20 minutes all the way home, my mom in the passenger seat... And she wouldnt say a word all the way home. My friends parents thought she was nuts, they were severely pissed that my mom started calling over and over from 530am and woke them up on a sunday morning. Boy were they ever right.

Yup.

It's all about control and drama. This never stops either. The kid moves out but the stupid sh*t goes on. You can read on here all the ways N parents screwed up birthdays, weddings, baby showers, everything. Christmas was always an ordeal. Christmas in my family is like the moon to werewolves.

Sorry to trigger your memories. Over-the-top N parent behavior is disgusting to me too.

No worries on triggering memories. This whole month has been one trigger after another, as i launched this investigation with the police over my moms brother molesting my friend and cousin. Her perverted reaction to the whole thing was what triggered me to look back further, and further, and further, and a sharp look at the aggregate of the whole relationship led me to discover the N and decide to go no contact.

I have been talking to my siblings lately, and i see how they have rolled over to keep the peace all these years even in their statements today - we all did. Unlike them, im out of the fog. Whether my new attitude is a glimpse of clarity or threatening is entirely up to them now. Even the ignored ones are confused.

Almost 3 months NC...

Got one phonecall from my dad 2 weeks ago as if nothing happened..

Now got some email from my N mother with a subject "touching base".

I didn't listen to the voice mail and haven't read the email.

Anyone have any advice on dealing with contacts made early on in NC?

Ha! Ignore them. Chances are, they will step it up to get you to respond, like I've said before.

There have been times I almost caved in; weaker moments. But I remind myself of something horrific she did--one behavior in particular--and I get back on track instantly and promise myself I won't ever expose my kids to that witch; ever.

Make a list for yourself, of the things they did. Or, go back and re-read your own posts. There is a reason you are here. Stay strong. Like most abusive relationships, they get worse over time; not better.

I am thinking i can go one of two ways. Because while i "responded" to their insanity with what a rational person would know, i havent been brutally clear i guess.

Route 1:.send back a dry email respectully asking for no contact, in any way, ever again, no gifts, no stopping by, no phone calls, no visits, no nothing...

Or

Route 2: have my attorney ask them the same thing on my behalf

Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum- child of two N parents, one co-morbid with schizophrenia. No contact with one for over 10 years and just ended contact with the other two weeks ago. I am looking for some good books on recovering from the madness of dealing with both my parents, particularly my mother. So far all the books I have found emphasize learning skills to continue in a relationship with the N person in your life. I am not interested in doing this at all. Can anyone recommend a good book to read that will help me deal with the effects of having these parents without interacting with them anymore?

Thanks very much. I'm happy to have found this forum!

Hi, I read a lot of books about this subject and I really liked the book 'Who's pulling your strings?' from Harriet B. Braiker, in which the emphasis is on letting your anger out and get rid of your feelings or guilt when you do. Really a book to tighten your strings for the future.

Very important is also that you know all about gaslighting, there is much information on the internet.
Hint: search for recent internetpages to read about new insights about the subject.
I just read this page and I think it's really good: http://www.traumahealed.com/articles/re ... hting.html