Would NPD wife's actions be enough to get custody?

I would like your opinions as to whether or not the following actions would be enough to get custody of my 11 month old child.

Keep in mind that she admitted all of these in front of our couples therapist, who documented all of them in her notes

1. She used to hit her daughter often before I forbid it

2. She allowed her 13 year old daughter to take our, at the time, 9 month old baby to a secluded community pool unaccompanied (thank GOD I caught them before they left for the pool)

3. She took the baby out of the car seat when I was driving and would not put him back in regardless of how many times I begged

4. On several occassions she only partially buckled the baby's car seat even though I begged her to buckle it correctly. Last week we discussed this in therapy and she agreed to buckle the seat correctly, and this week twice I got the baby out of the car seat and TWICE she had only partially buckled it.

5. She stole a check that was made out to me and forged my signature (it was $1075 dollars) and then lied about it when confronted.

Of course there is much MUCH more, but those are the most concrete things that she has done (as opposed to less concrete things like pathological lying, inability to apologize, constant anger, etc. etc.)

Do you guys/girls think that I would get custody considering the above?

I have no idea about how stuff like this is handled in the US, but in my country it would be enough to get her jailed.

I believe so, but you have to do a few things first. Document each incident with date, time and detailed description. Keep a running log of all such events. This document is admissible in court in California because it shows a timeline. 2nd, no one will believe your reporting so, you need to see a -good- child psychiatrist with your child, on a regular basis. I know your child is young, but do it anyway. After several sessions with the psychiatrist with you reporting repeated events that speak to this disorder, you will begin to build credability. The Dr can also help you deal with the situation which will make it possible for you to be the safe port for your child.

It won't be easy because the courts want to see harm done before they'll act, but you can minimize the damage by vigilently documenting and reporting the event to the Dr. The goal is to insure your child is safe. Nothing else matters.

I've been through something similar and it took me 5 years before the court severed visitation rights for my ex. I would have spent the rest of my life fighting every day to make sure my child was safe. That said, I still wanted my child to see his father, so arranged for supervised visitation, which my ex wouldn't do.

Just remember, you're divorcing your wife, your child is not. Just my $.02 worth:-)

Thank you both for your advice!

Tunie, I guess I'm hoping that in my case, what will determine custody is that we have an objective therapist who worked with both of us for about a year. If she gets up on that stand and confirms all of the crazy things my wife has done, what judge WOULDN'T give me custody?

Did you have a therapist or witness or was it just he said/she said?

No. 3. You begged? Why didn't you stop the car?

arrested wrote:No. 3. You begged? Why didn't you stop the car?

I was on the highway in that particular incident. But I have stopped the car on several occassions.

2 sessions ago I brought up about the seatbelts. She was confronted by my therapist (big time) and did it again. I brought it up at our last session. This week, she did it AGAIN.

Does she just not care about his safety? If you are going to say that this somehow makes me look like I'm equally to blame, feel free.