My case : Narcissist Obessesive?

Hi everyone,

It's the first time I post on that forum. I'm making questions about myself and can not find a competent psychiatrist so that's why I'm exposing some of my personality traits on that topic.

I was wondering if I could be touched by Narcissistic Personality Disorder or something closely related (borderline?). First of all I suffer from OCD since the beggining of my childhood, with a pause during middle school and a coming back when I entered High School.

Except of my obsessive tendencies, I never notice something wrong in my behaviour, until the day I made a analysis of my personality comparing to other, originaly in order to understand the impact of my OCD, which drove me farer than I expected.

I realized that I've always, and that, independentaly of my obsessive episodes, being really self-centerded, sadistic, anvious, addicted to attention and regardless to other feelings except when it comes to my profit. I know that only a psychiatrist can make a diagnose, but do OCD and NPD often merge? Is my behaviour common in OCD? Is that just a particular form or subtype of OCD? If someone can help be to understand...

I would add that I have been a Stalker very deeply with my last true girlfriend during several monthes because I couldn't support the separation (I spied her, her friends, collected informations about her etc...)

Helzy, it's probably not impossible for these two disorders or traits of disorders to go together. Is harmful stuff that might be attributed to NPD still going on in your life?
What does the OCD make you do, by the way? We have a forum for that too, you're welcome to post.

jasmin wrote:Helzy, it's probably not impossible for these two disorders or traits of disorders to go together. Is harmful stuff that might be attributed to NPD still going on in your life?
What does the OCD make you do, by the way? We have a forum for that too, you're welcome to post.

hi Jasmi, I've been off for a while, thank you for your answer.

OCD is, in my case, totally involved in magical thinking. I was suffering from more "conventional" obsessions at first (puting in order, collecting useless things etc... (for that I still do)), now, since three years, it's more a question of mental ritual. I'm always trying to control my stream of thoughts and cancelling intrusive thoughts, like doubts, which could have a impact on my realizations and projects (attracting a certain girl, succeeding in my exams etc...)

For the rest my personality seems to "connect" with cluster B disorders, considering that traits : Black/White thinking, unstable mood, disability to control my impulses (I'm often involved in fights), compulsive lying, seductive behaviour, sexual promiscuity, fear of abandonment and shame, grandiose fantiaisies, untolerance to frustrations and lack of empathy.

I can see common traits with borderline but I never injured myself, not directly at least, when I got desapointed, I do most prefere to harm others as to avoid depression.

Ps : my english can sounds strange, I'm french.

The narcissist feels that he is "bad" and diffusely guilty and that, therefore, he should be punished. So, he makes sure that he is disciplined. These cycles possess the tint and hue of compulsion. In many respects, narcissism can be defined as an all-pervasive obsessive-compulsive disorder.

The narcissist knows that his very life is at stake, that in his Superego lurks a mortal enemy. He knows that only his False Self stands between him and his Superego (the True Self is warped, depleted, immature and dilapidated). The Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an obsessive-compulsive disorder writ large.

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq30.html

This article will probably clear a lot of stuff up for you. You shouldn't take Sam Vaknin's stuff too seriously as it can fck with your head pretty badly, but this article is pretty much flawless. Enjoy.

Your OCD sounds a bit like my intrusive thoughts too.
Yah, you should try to get some help for your issues, especially if you stalked someone. Tell the psych everything about your personality, don't be embarrassed. Maybe your regular doctor could tell you where you could get treatment and a diagnosis. You could get in legal trouble if you don't take care of this.
Don't worry, your english is fine!

I have both NPD and OCD. Similar to you, my obsessions and compulsions are primarily mental.

I've also read in other areas that there's a higher correlation between than average, but of course decent research on NPD is scarce, so who knows the accuracy of that.

Getting the OCD treated can help with any narcissistic/cluster-B traits you have, because you gain the ability to "Separate" your thoughts to examine where the behaviors are coming from. When my OCD flares, I almost totally lose insight on such things. I've found medication to be extremely effective.

Thank you all for your answers. Yes indeed OCD and NPD seem to be very compatible in some way, moreover if we consider the fact that my obsessive thoughts are always focused in a narcissist away (I'm frightened, terryfied, to lose my "luck" the somatic skills I am proud of in my nature, like my physical appearance).

Undenied, you said you found medication effective, can I ask you what kind of treatment did you had? I saw a psychiatrist, about one year and a half ago, who recommanded me neuroleptics (Risperdal) for my obsessive and anxious disorders, without even knowing or being sure if I was really touched by OCD ! After doing some research, I found out Risperdal was primarly used for treating schizophrenia ! The effetcs were disastrous, I was depressed, without energy, feeling sleepy all the day and I experienced a severe diminution of my intellectual faculties during the monthes I took it like bad memory and diffulty of concentration. Fortunately, these effects stopped about two monthes after I chose to end my treatment. It's true my obsessions were diminished during my medications but it was the case of everything related to my intellectual capacities so I still prefere to feel anxious than being a zomby.

I have a question for people diagnosed as narcissists about love. I read that narcissists can not feel attached to somebody emotionnaly, is that really true considering if the person is seen as a great source of narcississical supply?

I had an affair with a girl one year ago, I fell in love with her and told her during our first date, I know it's not a good strategy but I fell the need to act this way because I was sure she would not be confused, and it worked in my case.

I stayed with her only two monthes, maybe it's quite short but that's the best I did, until now I had only short-term and meaningless relationship without feelings. I almost changed during this period. I was displaying more modesty than before and was tottaly devoted to her. But my obsessive tendencies pushed me to seek control on her, by watching carefully who were her friends, what she was doing when I was not here, all of that in a manneer that she would not notice. I was not doing it thought a sadistic pleasure, it was not in my attention to dominate her and make her my toy as did with some persons. I was doing it only for heasing my anxiosity of losing her. I never spoke bad to her, never hurt her in any way. Until the day I discovered she already had a boyfriend before knowing me and was still living with him, making it all secret. I was so shocked when I learnt that that I could have kill her, but I mannaged to control myself. Then I fell in depression during Tten monthes, spending my time to stalk her and getting involved in fights and abuse in streets. She changed phone number but I got her new one under a false identity on the internet, faking to be an appartment proprietor as I discorvered she was seeking a new one. I even stalked her ex boyfriend by giving a phone call to the laboratory he works in, making his boss believe I was the employee of a scientist revue based in France. I collected the name of her male contacts on the internet and spoke to them under the identity of a sexy woman in order to discover the ones interested by her. Well, I went a bit far, it was really painfull, but fortunately I feel good now, even if I think, still now, every day about it and can't avoid to feel anger, sadness and humiliation for what she did to me.

Is a narcissist prone to engage him/herself in that kind of stalking? By the way, considering her behaviour, I am sure she is probably a narcissist too (she is egoist, lack of empathy and is attracted by money to the point of betrayed everybody who put his trust in he. I know that some would say she didn't deserve the attention I gave her, and I agree with it, it was like an addiction I could not overcome, until know.

edited.

Since my experience with medication, I feel some distrust with it.

I've got definitely OCD, I do not know if I'm a narcissist but some traits are obious. About my stalking experience, for sure this is in some part related to my obsessive nature, but I'm wondering if it's possible for a narcissist to engage in such behaviour with somebody.

As psychiatrist and psychotherapeuts I saw were uncompetant or refused to deliver a diagnosis, I'm doing the best I can on my field.

Helzy wrote:Since my experience with medication, I feel some distrust with it.
I've got definitely OCD, I do not know if I'm a narcissist but some traits are obious.

Hi. I have both NPD and OCD. My medication is a magical and beautiful thing (for the OCD half at least). If the meds you are on aren't working, try new ones. There's a lot of guess work with mental meds, but it's often worth it.

Also, having narcissistic traits is very, very different than having NPD. If you know you have OCD, try focusing on treating that first. One thing at a time.