Narcissism & Substance Abuse

by **cheshire** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:55 am

Normal? wrote:That's an interesting question Chucky as yes he was 'spoiled' in a way but it was all twisted. His parents separated when he was young and his Dad was a Grade One Narcissist - he just absented himself from the situation (then turned up and made a fuss every now again inbetween girlfriends). His Mum and her family treated him (I think) more like an object to be shown off than a person.

being treated like an object will do it. i visited my parents this past weekend and they had the photo albums out. inbetween gushing over the baby pictures they would talk about how spoiled my siblings and i had been. except, from what i remember, it was always less about giving us what we wanted and more about taking pictures of us around toys or being overfed; documentation of what great parents they had been. from experience, they have little interest in what i'm feeling, my hobbies, or my plans for life. they just care about me giving them grandchildren or making them look good at social functions. i literally was made to feel as an extension of them; completely relate to being shown off. i would always become overly attached to my teachers or other authority figures, because of it; not feeling whole w/o feedback/approval from an adult. at some point, i just stopped caring about what they thought of me; my attention turning inward. it was only then that i realized just how 'incomplete' i am.

i think someone mentioned attention taking the place of recreational drugs earlier in the thread. i would have to agree. it might only be two days a week but i need to go feed on attention. avoiding it gives me an uneasy feeling. just sitting around my apartment would drive me nuts if it did it too long. what's ironic (i hope i'm using the word correctly) is that i readily seek out objectification when i'm out. oftentimes, meaningless physical attention winds up being my supply. it's strange but i see myself as an otherwise inhibited individual.

Hi Cheshire

There is a very strong link (thank UserName - I looked it up!) between opiate abuse and narcissism. A really good essay (by Leon Wurmser who wrote 'The Mask of Shame') is here for aonyone interested:

http://www.addictioninfo.org/articles/2 ... Page1.html

Wurmser's arugment is that all substance abuse is caused by a narcissitic conflict - that 'the specific reason for the onset of compulsive drug use lies in an acute crisis in which the underlying narcissistic conflicts are mobilized and the affects connected with these conflicts break in with overwhelming force and cannot be coped with without the help of an artificial affect defense.'

by **LifeSong** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:07 pm

Normal,
It explains quite a bit to me re my mother as well... gives an explanation to why she became addicted as she grew older. When she was younger, 'supply' was more than sufficient. She had many things about her that would garner supply rather easily. But, as she's aged, some of those supply-attractors have become useless now.
I've heard many say that addiction and NPD do not go together; yet she is diagnosed and relies on substances to get her through. Glad to have this bit of documentation to back up my experience with her. Thanks for the reference.

by **Normal?** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:40 pm

Hi Lifesong

Wurmser's argument is that you cannot have one without the other - it is the narcissitic crisis that causes the substance abuse - not the other way round.

I think there are a lot of 'myths' associated with heroin that might lead us to question this theory but they really are myths. For example it takes a long time and a great deal of effort to get addicted to heroin (even William Burroughs says it took him 3 months of shooting up). So addiction isn't just a case of trying the drug on one occasion when say a dealer catches you vulnerable - it is a series of many, many choices and the user REPEATEDLY chooses the drug over dealing with reality. The fact that many people try heroin (in fact some use it recreationally) and do not get addicted, or only try it once suggests there is something inherently 'wrong' with the addict. What is wrong, in the main, is that he is overly anxious (an anxiety caused by the Narcissitic 'crisis') and the heroin deals very efficiently with that - in fact that is why a addict chooses heroin and not another drug which would have a different affect on him. If he stops using the drug then he must face the anxiety (and his Narcissitic Rage) and that's not possible.

Wurmser says that 'In all categories of compulsive drug use, the pre-eminence of archaic, chiefly narcissistic, conflicts is evident'. I suppose it kind of makes sense when you think of it as a symptom of narcissism and not a cause?

There's another essay here - also quite useful!
http://www.addictioninfo.org/articles/5 ... Page1.html

by **Normal?** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:19 pm

User Name - please don't do the Morphine experiment! Yes - there are experiments where addicts were given heroin prior to other medical procedures:- their anxiety and experience of their own pain subsided - honest! I'll have to dig out the reference.

by **danica** » Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:32 am

My N had never touched a drug in all his 35 years except pot once when he was a teen and one single valium at around the same age. He always touts and jokes that he was one of the few youths to learn from Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" anti drug campaign. He drinks beer off and on minorly, and despises drugs because the most frightening concept to him is to feel as if he's not in control.

During his recent minor surgery he was given pain killers. He took the Vicodin and was commenting to me how they made not only the pain go away but also that "nagging emptiness" inside him, temporarily though only. I thought of this thread when he mentioned it.

by **Normal?** » Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:58 pm

Hey Danica

Maybe addicts are just the ones who realise the affects of opiates earlier in life - during their teenage years? If he'd had the Vicodin then he might still be taking it?

Thanks for sharing!

by **LifeSong** » Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:40 pm

Normal? wrote:Oops LIfesong - I'd missed your earlier post. Thanks for the insight into your Mum's behaviour (sorry - she sounds like a nightmare!). And I agree - he may be a dry addict (and not even that) but nothing whatsoever about his behaviour has changed. He is still an addict to all intents and purposes.
Heroin as an anti-anxiety drug He does all this because he can't face the anxiety that drove him to take the drug in the first place?

I've often wondered if my mother's eventual addictions came as a result of her trying to address her narcissism, or if her narcissism was wearing off as a defensive mechanism and the addictions took up the slack.... chicken and egg, chicken and egg. I tend to think that that narcissistic personality set up first, and the addiction flowed out of that... That would support what you've said here: "Wurmser's argument is that you cannot have one without the other - it is the narcissitic crisis that causes the substance abuse - not the other way round.". But not having one without the other? Ummm, I don't know about that. I know plenty of addicts (it's part of my business) who are not narcissistic except in the sense that they are selfish and me-oriented.

But that's just my observation. I'm no academic.

You're adding to the discussion, Normal - hope you keep posting here.

by **Normal?** » Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:34 pm

Sorry - I worded that wrongly. You can have NPD without the drug use but not be a substance "abuser" without the NPD. For Wurmser you have to experience that crisis before you think about becoming 'compulsive' about drug-taking (it does make sense doesn't it really). He is though only talking about serious addicts - people who can't function without the drug - they can't live with the rage, shame or anxiety the crisis causes without it. And also he's concentrating on drug-users who started young and I suppose that's different in your Mum's case? Also a lot of the NPD 'behaviours' are taken away by the drug use - so there isn't so much raging or shouting if you're an opiate user. That only comes back when you stop?

Saying that those crises he describes can occur anytime - it just that the drug's availability and the crisis tend to co-exist when we are younger? But that's not to say that your Mum didn't experience the same type of crisis (no longer getting what she wanted in terms of 'supply' because she was getting older?) and then the drugs entered into her life at that time and provided relief. So now it must be hard for her to give that up and go back to the emptiness she felt before?

It's so sad isn't it?

by **NotMyUsualUserName** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:31 am

Normal? wrote:Oops LIfesong - I'd missed your earlier post. Thanks for the insight into your Mum's behaviour (sorry - she sounds like a nightmare!). And I agree - he may be a dry addict (and not even that) but nothing whatsoever about his behaviour has changed. He is still an addict to all intents and purposes.

User Name - please don't do the Morphine experiment! Yes - there are experiments where addicts were given heroin prior to other medical procedures:- their anxiety and experience of their own pain subsided - honest! I'll have to dig out the reference.

Heroin as an anti-anxiety drug though is really well documented (believe me I've read every book know to man on the subject in the last six months sadly - it comes up every time). As Peter Laurie puts it for most of us anxiety is a 'useful spur' because it drives us to 'succeed' (it keeps us alive basically as well) but for the heroin addict it is a 'juggernaut' - it crushes him and the only way he can deal with it is more heroin. That's why he chooses heroin and not speed or coke or any other drug (and let's face it he's usually tried them all). And that's also why he can't give it up. Of course he has a horror of withdrawal but he knows that it is nothing more than a bad case of the flu for 3 or 4 days (another heroin myth is of the 'horrors' of withdrawal - completely exaggerated). And that is surely not enough to keep a man hustling all day for his fix, injecting into the abscessed veins of his legs or robbing his grannie for his next bag? He does all this because he can't face the anxiety that drove him to take the drug in the first place? It seems that anxiety is Narcissitic in origin?

Why should i not do the morphine experiment, I can easily convert 5 grams of codeine to approx 2 grams morphine depending on the percent recovery.

I do enjoy opiate use, and it really does keep me a little bit more balanced.

My doctor have been giving me k-pins and i enjoy them like no tomorrow, but those do nothing but make me feel fun for a little bit.

I am also, well was on Paxil until i cut the $#%^ out of my left leg and played with the adipose tissue.
Now am weening, then starting on zoloft or something... Sertraline is the drug.

But opiates work better then anything I've tried.
Otherwise I am MUCH MUCH more agitated and angry and much more willing to reach out and destroy something beautiful.

Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Who is online