arraine wrote:N's consider themselves all unique and different then the rest of the world. But all of them think they are unique in there own way.
I know what you mean. I was recently reading Vaknin's 9-part free essay (
World of the Narcissist). He referred to an N's aversion to sex and intimacy. On the one hand an N thrives on their uniqueness. Sex/intimacy is an act of making yourself unique. But, to an N, everyone makes themselves unique this way. The act merely makes them merely
distinct.
I can identify with that because I always considered sex within a relationship to be a burden, something to use as a silent-treatment tool to get the kind of supply which made me unique (not merely distinct).
There are deeper, more significant reasons I avoid(ed?) intimacy. A fear of exposing who I really am is the obvious. Being vulnerable to who someone really is (not who I require them to be through my projection and what I expect to be mirrored back to me). But, I thought the subtle distinction he made between uniqueness and distinctiveness was interesting. Your post reminded me of that.
arraine wrote:They think they are almost different to the point of being subhuman and extraordinary, but in a different way. So there could potentially be millions and millions of different types out there. Or, depending on how you look at it, there could be only one type. And that is the type who thinks they are better than everyone else and unique. I think you could go either way with it.
That's an interesting way to see it. I think it depends on perspective. The way I saw myself (before being self-aware), the former doesn't make sense. I never felt extraordinary. However, nons would think "that person think's they are extraordinary and special." (I felt the opposite of extraordinary. I had no idea I projected what others would see as entitlement, etc. But, don't believe "subhuman" would describe what I felt before being self-aware. It was more like "bad luck," "unfortunate circumstance which I had to try harder to overcome," "isolation," and "not fitting in." But, those feelings were really a result of believing things
should be better, I was
capable of making them better, people would view me as less than I am because things aren't better. That's the "entitled" which I had some sense of being.).
I think the latter way you described it is good. But, I didn't think of myself as unique before being self-aware. I thought my form of uniqueness was like everyone else's. That goes back to the former way you described it: extraordinarily unique. I thought everyone saw themselves that way. That's the wall which is hard to break through with narcissism and begin to see how I'm
not like others.
But, that point comes back to your latter description (one type of N). Ns are unique. There is no unique N (as if the textbook defines the person). So, I wouldn't go with the latter description either.
The one thing I'd be careful with is the subhuman description. When I became self-aware I saw myself as subhuman. Even now, I relate to the AIs in the
movie Bladerunner. (A close facsimile, but completely lacking an vital human component if you know how to look for it. Lost in a world that created them but can't relate to them.).
I don't think unaware Ns won't relate to "subhuman," and will only focus more on their overcompensating coping systems (which make them more extraordinary, and appear less human).